2022 – The Year to Savor

As I type this, the sun is shining through my blinds, I have one of my favorite playlists playing through my phone, and I am sipping my first batch of homemade iced coffee! Not too shabby for my 12th day of 2022.

I’ve thought about sitting down and writing a blog the last few days, so I am finally returning to this familiar place this morning. After some of the thoughts that I have been fleshing out thus far this year, I wanted to sit down and write them out so that I can always remember how I felt starting out the year.

Writing has long been my favorite place to realize things. To realize how I feel, different ways to express things, and re-discover emotions that I had kept tucked away. It is a place to let passion and feelings flow and it could be something only I ever hear or read, or it could resonate with someone else if I take the leap to share what I have to say (more to come on this later).

I started sharing my feelings and thoughts many years ago and it was once a very consistent habit of mine. But after listening to the little voice inside that set big expectations for myself, it started to not feel natural. I experience a very similar thing with my music writing. Have I mentioned that I love to write music? I don’t know if I have ever published that in text, so there it is: I am a music writer and it is nearly my favorite hobby of all. Anywho – when I am writing and it doesn’t feel authentic or easy-coming, then it only ends in frustration and the frustration leads to months of not returning to a hobby that I quite enjoy for fear that it will be too difficult to express.

I share all of that to say, it has been a long time and it feels good (an a tad scary) to be back.

So why did I title this about 2022? Or the word Savor?

Several years ago, I started to give my year a name. I would start the year with one word in particular that felt like it encompassed what I wanted to work on or appreciate within that year. For the life of me, I cannot remember any of my past words, but I have had one each year since around 2016. So as the last few days of 2021 danced around us, I started to consider what I wanted my 2022 to be defined as. Entering this year, I felt like I had everything I wanted (and I still feel this way). I got engaged and married in 2021 to one of the best human beings I know, I love my job even on the tough days, I am studying to become a teacher which I have always wanted to do, and we have a lovely home. Heck, we even just bought a brand new car! Most years, especially before I got married, I had specific expectations of the year or what might happen during it (especially when it came to getting engaged. Patience was not my virtue then lol). So as I looked forward at 2022 with my arms full of things that I love dearly, I knew I wanted a word that inspired me to be grateful for it all. A word that grounded me in gratitude, even when some new desire came up on the horizon.

And thus savor was born. I felt like it was a word that perfectly held what I wanted to say. I wanted to savor my life in 2022. I wanted to savor who I am, what I have, and where I am in this season of life. You might be questioning why I didn’t just call it “grateful” or “gratitude” and to be honest, I couldn’t quite answer why it wasn’t those words because they work as well. But savor came to mind and it just felt right, and that is always how I have named a year. A word swept in and felt like it belonged and that was that.

Writing this out here will give me a place to remember this year’s name, but as I think about it, if I don’t remember my names for previous years, I probably missed the opportunity to really carry those words throughout those years. It inspires me to not lose sight of my year’s name this year. If I keep reminding myself of this year’s name and its possibility, then I feel I will be better able to look back and remember the year I learned to savor. So that is my hope and goal of notating all of this. That the word “savor” will be so obvious in my 2022 year, that I can never forget it. And even if I do (because after all, I am human), I will be able to look back and remember the year I began to learn how to savor life. A little accountability never hurt anybody.

So to begin my year of “savor”, I had COVID for the first week and BOY oh boy did that put my savoring to the test. How does one savor life whilst having COVID?

I’ll tell you how. I watched a lot of good movies. I organized my desk. I got to spend a lot of time talking and hanging out with my husband who was also sick. I got to miss my job, which made returning to it even better. It took me some time to find the savor-worthy aspects of that first week of the year, but looking back, I am grateful for the quiet that enabled me to prep our house for this new year and all of the conversation and walks I got to take with my husband. When do we have 10 days of nothing to do, even when being sick? COVID is no joke and it has kicked my butt two times now, but that is obvious. No one is out here saying “YAY I HAVE COVID”. That’s not the point. The point is, I couldn’t do ANYTHING about having COVID. I could have spent the whole time being frustrated, scared, or bored (which I got really close to), OR, I could savor the good moments it brought me. That’s the whole point of my year’s name. It is challenging more often than it is easy, but it will be worth it. Because whether we are talking about yummy food or sick couch snuggles with someone we love, there is something there to savor.

So savor my friends. Savor it all. Not because it is easy or obvious, but because there is always something to savor.

Until next time.

Ashlyn R.

Home is wherever I’m with you

As I write this, I struggle to find the balance between writing freely, and over thinking every word. I’ve tried to write this a couple times, this first blog back from a several month hiatus, and for some reason it’s been really hard. I think one of the worst parts I find about taking breaks from writing is that suddenly your craft, this thing you appreciate and adore, feels foreign to you. That’s kind of the theme of this post, the idea that when things, people or places, feel like strangers because we walk away from them for too long. But then we coming back to them, and are embraced freely and without judgment, simply because they’re just happy we’re back.

So, here is my latest mountain:

SURPRISE! I moved to Fort Worth, Texas! About a month ago, me and 6 of my 7 family members packed up the contents of our life in a 24ft moving truck and embarked on a 7 day journey half way across the country. We moved really fast, kind of like a refresh button. But it was a refresh I didn’t think I needed, or more specifically, wanted for myself. I knew, however, how hard it would be to stay back and be so far away from my family.

I prayed about it long and hard, because here was this thing in my life, this problem, this uncertainty.

Now, what seems to be a pattern for me is that it takes something coming up for me to go and talk to God. That’s when I go and ask “what are you doing?” “where am I going?” “what is your plan?”

I can’t help but feel that God is like, “Ya know, I’m absolutely willing to share all of this with you, but I really kinda wish you would’ve come to me sooner. I’ve got all this stuff going on behind the scenes, and I know you don’t really see much of it yet, but if you would’ve come, if you would’ve asked, if you would’ve just said ‘hey dude, what’s shaken’ or where do you want me?’ we could’ve had this great conversation, but now I need you to just trust me. I need you to take my hand and believe that wherever you go, there is a purpose for it.”

So, I went to God, I prayed really hardcore, asking all the questions, “do I stay or do I go” and clear as day… Crystal clear as day, God said, “Follow Your Family.”Every time I prayed about it, the answer remained the same.

This pissed me off. I was praying so hard for a different answer then the one I was given. I was not content with the answer I was being given. And so, I followed my human tendencies, and became resentful. I fell right into my favorite weapon… the silent treatment.

God is so good. So good. And yet the only phrases I sang to Him were “where are you? “what the heck are you thinking, why am I here, why am I not here, why is this happening in my life, what do you want?”

I really noticed in my life this past month the way that I’ve been carrying out my relationship with God, and it’s this:

It’s like I’m sitting across from Him at a coffee table. Here I am sitting across from one of the most amazing, most creative, most inspiring friend ever. Here’s God, sitting in front of me all the time. We are always at this coffee table, I will always have this opportunity to look up and say “hey, what do you think about this”, and you know what I do instead? I look anywhere but towards Him. I’ll look at the ground or my phone or anywhere expect in front of me. And yet, I will have the audacity to say “I miss you God.”

Why do we only miss God when stuff gets hard?  Why is that when we notice we haven’t been looking at God, and on top of that, instead of noticing that we aren’t looking at God, we point our fingers and say “where are you?”

How gracious is God that he doesn’t yell at us every day saying “where are you?!” he’s sitting here, looking at you with the most adoring eyes saying “you know, I’m ready whenever you are. Finish whatever you’re working on, but just so you know, I’m here. I’d love to talk.”

Throughout the craziness that was this move, through the days of bitterness and of just complete desire to go back home, to my physical home, I continued to walk farther and farther away from my home with God. And like usual, as I was walking alone… I missed Him. I missed talking to Him. I missed hearing Him in melodies. I missed Him.

You see, in my life, it’s almost become a pattern of home, run away, home, run away, and so on. And here I was, being moved from my literal home, being moved from my physical home, and instead of running into the arms of the best home ever, the arms of God. I ran away. I decided it was His fault, and that He had no idea what He was doing.

Sound familiar?

But, I still missed Him.

And quickly, those overwhelming feelings of missing Him, far outweighed my feelings of being pissed off. That all really came to a headway though about two weeks ago, in my living room with Lauren. On the TV, a Hillsong conference was being broadcasted called, “She Rises.” The worship band was just beginning to play To My Knees. 

In the second verse, it specifically says, In my vacant heart, you came and made a home and that was a sensitive but beautiful word in my life. That idea of home. In that moment, chills went up my spine because that was everything I was looking for. Everything that was all around me and yet I looked anywhere but forward. I looked anywhere but at the house I sat inside. I looked anywhere but at God across the coffee table. I had been refusing to call anything home, because it wasn’t the home I wanted. I played that song, and still play that song, on repeat constantly. And with each time, my voice got a little louder, my arms got a little higher, I moved my gaze closer and closer to God. “In my vacant heart you came and made a home, in my vacant heart you came and made a home, in my vacant heart you came and made a home” because that is what I need in every aspect of my life. No matter where I go or where I am, or who I am surrounded by, that is what will always matter. As long as I am home with God, I will always feel at home. The only reason I didn’t feel at home here was because I wasn’t home with God.

This is kinda a different branch of the story, but it rings loud in my heart as well. I have never been very good at reading the bible. That is me being completely transparent. Me, a pastors kid my whole life, couldn’t tell you all the chapters’ names or quote much of any verses. I get distracted, I don’t understand what it means. I just struggled to get through it or take anything away from it. I’ve always had so many people around me talk about how they don’t just read the bible, but they journal through it, and here I am hardly able to read through it and just focus. And during this recent reunion with God, I knew I didn’t want to settle for that anymore. I saw another area in my life, in my spiritual journey where I had gotten off track and hadn’t tried to fix it.

This moment in my living room… this was it. That was the finish line for my wandering identity. I needed to worship. I needed to pray. I needed to read, love, and understand the word.

For about two years now, a bible verse that God has constantly put on my heart is Isaiah 14:7 – All the lands are at rest and at peace; they break into singing. Now some of you know more of my story than others, but almost two years ago, my life went through a huge emotional change in which I suffered loss, pain, and betrayal, and my life was anything but at rest or peace. And yet, God sang that verse to me. At first I was almost angry at Him.  “My life’s not at rest! I’m not at peace! And I don’t even know how to break into song anymore.” I mean the things of life are never really at rest or peaceful, right?

So here I was, two weeks ago, coming out of another phase of wandering, desperate to find peace, desperate to find rest and BAM Isaiah 14:7, right on cue. So I read it, I’m like “Dude, what are you talking about? What does this mean?”

And I felt God say, “What are you gonna do to make this verse true? 

What are you gonna do to make the lands feel at peace and at rest? I am willing to help you, I am willing to get you there, but what are YOU gonna do to get there?”

I think a lot of time in life, we just expect God to do 100%, and what we don’t realize is that God LOVES teamwork. He loves working with us! He loves when we are actually interested in working with Him, and carrying out His word, and making the world a better place. In changing lives and saving lives. 

“What are you gonna do to make your life at rest and at peace? 

What are you gonna do to inspire the world to break into song? 

That peace would be restored over the entire world, 

so that ALL the lands are at rest 

ALL the lands are at peace

Not just your life.

I am sitting here, I am your friend

I believe in you more than you can possibly imagine. 

And I can do anything I set my heart to, but so can you so 

What are YOU going to do

to make this verse true in your life and in the lives of those around you.”

So my question for myself, for you, for your sister, brother, coworker, for your best friend or the person sitting next to you in a coffee shop is:

What are you going to do to make Isaiah 14:7 true?

First step: Come home.

All my love,

Ash

Hello from Belogradchik, Bulgaria!

My friends and family, I simply cannot express how full my heart is as I write these posts. Typing these words, re-reading the story from the day, makes me re-live and re-appreciate everything I’ve experienced. Sometimes I still can’t even believe I am here! And my heart leaps for the days down the road where I will re-read these and experience all those wonderful feelings all over again.

Today, we visited/experienced Bulgaria’s natural wonder, the “Belogradchik Rocks.” The red-hued cliffs and breathtaking mountains were incredible. It was amazing the master pieces that weathering, erosion, freezing, and countless other factors had formed. It triggered your imaginative side as you saw certain piles of rocks seemingly shaped like two lovers kissing, or maybe shaped like an elephant’s head. It was truly a rock version of cloud watching. The green colors of the trees were unreal. The smell of life bursting all around you was inspiring.

But the view.

The way your jaw hit the floor.

The way your eyes danced at the sights.

The way your entire body experienced the excitement of being alive to see this view.

Was priceless.

Everywhere you looked was spectacular. The mountains + the greenest trees you’ve ever seen + the energy of those experiencing it with you, made for a moment that I will truly never forget. We all snapped a million pictures, attempting to capture even just a little bit of the magic in a still picture form. Realizing that the pictures on your phone would never ever compare to the ones you’d taken with your eyes.

I had a moment where I walked ahead of the rest of the group, turned around this corner, and had found myself standing upon this rock with the most precious view. My eyes filled with tears and I cried. There was just something about that moment. Standing there, by myself, feeling surround by The Lord. Feeling overwhelmed by His beauty as I starred at His creations. It felt like He was jumping up and down with joy within me saying “do you like it? do you like it?” My soul danced with Him, because I LOVED it.

I left that place, with a million pictures, but more than that, I left with an overflowing heart. I left beaming with joy. I left breathing in air like it was the best thing since sliced bread. I am SO thankful to be alive and to be here and AHH just for everything!! We have so much to be grateful for! I have so much to be grateful for.

So as we live, day to day, on this beautiful planet we call home. May we stand on top of more cliffs, may we lose more of our breaths due to God’s amazing-ness, may our souls dance with The Lord’s as we witness earth’s beauty, because it is everywhere!

I am simply alive, more than ever.

And grateful, more than ever.

Praying deeply that you all would feel the same.

All my love,

All my joy,

Ash

 

Hello from the Iron Gate!

Happy 1st of August friends and family! May we all rejoice in being alive for yet another beautiful beginning of a month!! May we anticipate the beautiful adventures this month is holding for us!
As I look down the road of this month, I see the beginning of my first year of college coming closer and closer. I remember how wonderful the beginning of the school year always feels and dream of the pencils and notebooks I will buy. I imagine the thoughts I will write down and wonder what my favorite subject will be this year. This year, this big adventure I’ve been told of since grammar school. This massive mountain, is about to be moved. And I cannot wait! I hold tight to all of the lessons I’ve learned while traveling. I recall the stories and history that have been shared with me. I go into this year with a completely different perspective, and a thirst for history. I will never call history, or education in general, boring ever again. I met too many people that would’ve loved an education. I’ve met too many geniuses that couldn’t afford education. They would’ve done anything for the opportunity, so I refuse to waste or belittle mine.
I have met and heard of so many brave people. I have seen their bravery prevail even when it seemed impossible. So I refuse to enter this adventure fearful or timid.
As we sail through The Iron Gate, a scenic day of sailing here on the boat that passes through one of Europe’s natural wonders, I step into my purpose of being a natural wonder. Cruising through spectacular narrow gorges that slice through the Carpathian Mountains. Amazed by miles of towering limestone cliffs draped with forest. Ancient remains greeting us and grand memorials taking our breath away.
It was peaceful, and we were blessed with such wonderful weather for it! It gave us time to just breath and take in everything we’ve, seen, heard, and touched. Me and Gram talked for hours on the deck, just about life and everything under the sun.

I am simply feeling thankful to be alive! I am feeling so excited for my upcoming journey, and feeling so very blessed for the one I am on currently.

Hoping simple things like a new school year are exciting and inspiring you too.

All my love,

Ash

Hello from Belgrade, Serbia!

Happy day 31 my friends and family!! I cannot believe it’s already been 1 month of blogging, but I am so very blessed by it. I feel so refreshed every time I finish one of these, as I pour little bits of my days and soul into each one of them, so that I might never forget the emotions and memories I experience.

I am especially glad to have the memories. Of my travels or of visits with my grandparents. They are both experiences I will hold in my heart forever and I will forever enjoy looking back at the blog posts and reliving those moments.
Today was another day full of adventure here in Belgrade, Serbia. It was so interesting to visit the city where the people who were at the opposite side of the war we learned about in Croatia just yesterday, live. It was interesting to see how little the Serbians talk of the war, but the evidence of it is intertwined through out the city. It’s seen in bullet holes marking the side of buildings, and buildings that have yet to be redone since the bombing in the 90’s. Once again, I could hardly believe that the war had only ended about 20 years ago.

In America, we have no idea what war is anymore. Walking through a country where some of the first bombs were dropped in during WWII, witnessing the damage that remains still almost 100 years later, both physical and emotional. It made me feel that I could never complain about America again. We have forgotten how free we are. We forget how hard our ancestors worked to get us to be where we are and who we are. We mistake the progress we have to go still as a sign that we have not made any at all. It’s simply not true, but that aside, my entire perspective of my country has changed.

The buildings that weren’t dilapidated or bombed were absolutely stunning. The architecture in all of these countries is truly brilliant and artistic. In Serbia, much like Croatia & Budapest, flower boxes hang from nearly every window. They incorporate life into everything they possibly can. Be it in their use of colors, or flowers, or even monuments remembering those who lost their lives so they could live. They cherish life! They recognize what they’ve lost and how much farther they have yet to go, but they cherish where they are. How far they have come. They do not see only bad in their history, and they believe in only good for their future. We could, and should, learn SO MUCH from them.

After a hot 4 hour tour, me and Gram cherished the moments we spent sitting in a shaded area with a breeze SO much. Our ability to find the good in everything is truly increasing, and our motto throughout the trip has become “optimism over pessimism.” Me and Gram have almost always had very open and honest conversations, but just like our relationship, this trip has thickened our conversations even more. We were always friends, but even that increases with everyday, and I am SO very grateful for that. Sharing these experiences is something we will share LONG after this trip comes to an end. The memories and moments will live on forever, and we leave this experience as even better friends.
We returned from the tour very exhausted and quickly questioned if we wanted to still do the tour we had also signed ourselves up for in the afternoon. Taking a nap sounded SO wonderful, but I knew I would regret not going, so I decided to go anyways.

The tour was to a violin maker’s house, and then to a “Naive Art” museum. We had an hour drive each way, so I took a nap while listing to Steffany Gretzinger’s “The Undoing”, which is and always will be one of the best musical foods for my soul ever. If you have never listened to it, I HIGHLY recommend it. The ride, and my nap, flew by and within what felt like 30 seconds, we and arrived at the violin maker’s house (his name is beautiful, but impossible to pronounce or spell, so I will call him Jeff) The house was simply adorable, as there were several features of the house, including the plaque that held his house number, was shaped like a violin. His garden featured some of the brightest red & hello flowers my eyes had ever seen, and everything about the entrance to his home screamed “welcome”. Jeff spoke no english, so our tour guide translated everything. Even with our language barriers, he was one of the friendliest people ever and he was SO interactive. His shop was filled with violins of all different sizes, colors, and embellishments. He showed us every step of the process, from the begging blocks of wood that he had cut down specifically for his future violins back in 1979, giving the wood over 20 years to dry. It was amazing to see how tiny his tools were so that everything could be so precise. The thickest part of the violin is “perfect” to him when it is 1.9 milliliters thick. He talked to us about how thinning different parts and creating different curves cause the wood to have a perfect G tone. It was incredible!! He even played for us on a violin that was from 1690 that had been passed down to him. My music nerd heart was in heaven. We all laughed and stood in awe of his creations, he even spoke of how God had blessed him with his passion for it. We all enjoyed it so much, we stayed an hour past when we were technically supposed to. We all said our goodbyes and thank yous, and hopped back on the bus for short ride to the museum.

Also, before I forget, there have been millions of sunflowers in Serbia too! So far I have seen them in Kalocsa, Croatia, and Serbia, and every time my heart rejoices in their happy colors.

We arrived at the museum which specifically featured two Naive artists, Matrin Paluska & Jan Soko.

Jan Soko incorporated so much life and color into her works, you couldn’t admire them without smiling. Her portraits spoke of life and appreciation for the beautiful world we inhabit. She spent most of her career using 90% of the money she made from her works funding children’s hospitals & orphanages. Her love for humanity, helping others, and the power of coming together was showcased in each of her pieces, as she never painted a painting with just one person in it.

Martin Paluska showcased his unique outlook of the world and humanity by painting and drawing every person in his pictures with huge hands & feet, but tint heads. It’s said that he told others he did this because when he was a little child, he would sneak under the table when the adults were sitting around it to listen in on their conversations and the only thing he could see was their big hands and feet, and that their heads looked so far away. He also did this to show how powerful actions are (the hands and feet representing actions, and the tiny heads representing thoughts or words) a.k.a. , the ultimate inspiration for the phrase “actions speak louder than words.”

Both of the artists and their works were deeply inspiring, not because they wanted or strived to be, but because they simply were/are.

As if the experience wasn’t beautiful enough, I spent the hour ride home watching the most beautiful things on my phone: videos of my family. It was so good to hear their laughter and watch their smiles. I had videos from a little less than a year ago and it brought tears to my eyes realize how much they’ve grown, but more than that, to witness how amazing they are. Though it made me miss them, I was the farthest thing from sad, more, I was overjoyed that I will see them in a week.
So, to sum everything up, rejoice in all that you have. Spread your heart and art everywhere you go because it will inspire someone. Accept the losses of your past, but don’t forget to embrace the gains. Rejoice in the progress you have made, but even more in the progress you will make. Savor every moment of every day. Step into your purpose, and you will change lives, the future, and the world.
Hope you are feeling as inspired by these places, people, and stories as I am.
All my love,
Ash

Hello from Croatia!

Hello my wonderful family and friends! Happy day 30!! One more day of this month, I simply cannot believe how fast it went!! I pray that this post finds you in love with life and the people you’ve surrounded yourself with!

Me and Gram are feeling so blessed to be on this adventure with so many lovely people. Just so genuinely kind and just as thrilled as you are to be where you are!
Today we spent 4.5 hours off the boat, visiting the cities of Vulkovar & Osijek.
Throughout both cities, stories of impact from their last war still ring through the people’s ears. It was crazy to realize that they only finished the last war in 1997 (my birth year) and have spent the years since then restoring and attempting to heal as best they can. It was inspiring to hear how capable they were of talking about the people who attacked them, some of them were residents of the city that attacked it from the inside out, without saying anything rude or resentful about them. Their ability to continue to live alongside people who betrayed them spoke deeply of the kind of people they are. Stronger than any grudge. Capable of forgiving, but not forgetting, so that the same mistakes may never be made again.
It spoke deep in my heart. Made me realize some pockets of resent I’ve continued to carry that I needed to let go. Made me grateful even more for coming here because it inspired me so much! If these people, who were completely betrayed and abandoned by people they considered friends, neighbors, even family members, and move on from it peacefully, I have absolutely no reason or excuse to not do the same.
Despite insane tax rates (between income & VAT, the employed are taxed 65%) and the unemployment rate, which if I remember correctly was about 30%, these cities were thriving. They restore every building, monument/memorial, and every part of the city to look exactly like it did before being destroyed, even keeping the original cobblestone.
Just like Budapest & Kalocsa, the buildings were almost all beautiful colors, and pink or red flowers hung from every single window. The colors are stunning and breath taking, and pictures simply do not do the colors or architecture justice (but we all take a million photos anyways!)
We walked through one of the churches in town, and the amount of gold colors that filled the church was AMAZING. It was SO decorated, I mean you couldn’t find a single plain inch of the place. Between amazing statues and artifacts from the 14th century, it was unbelievable.
We were serenaded by a short Lute concert, played by a student from the local college, and between here beautiful tone & the church’s acoustics, it was heavenly.
We stopped to grab some souvenirs (we wouldn’t be tacky American tourists if we didn’t!) an hopped back on to the bus for our next location!
The next part of the excursion were house visits into the homes of some locals. Me and Gram were apart of the group that stopped in the loveliest bed & breakfast a little out of the way of the city.
The homeowner was very welcoming and had a great sense of humor! Our whole group seemed to, as we laughed 95% of the visit. We all got a long so well, that we spent 40 minutes of the 50 minutes we were going to be there just talking and laughing and asking questions!
In between questions and conversations, he gave us some delicious, homemade marble cake and & Elder Flower water which tasted to me what I imagine humming bird food tastes like to them. Very floral & sweet! Then came the hard stuff. He passed around shot glasses of Croatia’s “welcome” drink, Plum Brandy.
It burned the ENTIRE way down. It was like drinking drain cleaner and MY OH MY did everyone’s breaths smell like they’d been drinking for hours!
After burning our esophaguses, he gave us a tour of his garden.
It was HUGE. It felt like it just kept going on and on, in the best way possible! The brightest pink and purple flowers your eyes have ever seen! And tall and happy sunflowers intertwined through out, as if they were hugging everything together.
The last 10 minutes of our time flew by, and soon we were saying “Bok” & Hvala  (goodbye & thank you)i

We came home (back to the ship) and had lunch, followed by 2 hours of napping. Then I walked into the lounge in time for the last song of a Croatian music concert they were having. The energy of the room was so happy and exciting!! The smiles on everyone’s faces were contagious!

The rest of the night was spent with our usual group, talking, laughing, and eating the night away!

I end this post with one last thing.

Travel. As much as you can. As far as you can. Don’t wait. Traveling is not just getting souvenirs or pictures, it’s about embracing culture, finding yourself, and falling love with the world. It’s meeting kind people and being completely inspired by them. It’s realizing there is so much more to history then the little slice we learn in schools. There is simply nothing like it, and it is the best addiction you could possibly have.

So start up that change jar.

Put away those tax returns.

Sign yourself up for the best history lesson by GOING to the places and being told their history while you’re there.

Not next year. Not next month.

Now.

All my love,
Ash

Hello from Kalocsa!

Hello my lovely friends and family! Happy day 29!! (I realized after I wrote my post yesterday that I had typed day 29 instead of 28, so please forgive me!

As I write this, it is 9:39 pm here on the boat, and we are in transit to Osijek, Croatia!
It is nearly impossible to fall asleep when you know that in the morning, you will arrive at yet another breath taking country. It is truly like the best Christmas morning EVER, every single day!

Today was a bit more of a relaxed day, as we only spent about 4 hours off of the boat, but none the less, the sights were enthralling and the people were sweet as candy.
We started off the day with the breakfast buffet here on the boat and it was DIVINE! Anything breakfast that your heart desires, they have, and the smell of heaven being cooked/baked nearby just fills the room as you walk in.
Me and Gram grabbed some grub, and sat down at a long empty table.
One thing I absolutely adore about this cruise is how friendly and welcoming people are. Within about 2 minutes after sitting down, our table was full of some familiar and new faces. It’s wonderful!

Our little “group” of usuals that I’ll mention quite often over the next few days are: a Son & Mother named Robert & Shannon. Robert is my age and we hit it off instantly! Both of them are super genuine and kind. Shannon has almost the same sense of humor as Gram so we all laugh very often! And then it’s another Son & Mother named Mark & Linda, the son in his Mid-40s and the mother Mid-60s, both very funny and kind!
Both sets of friends joined us at breakfast, but we also met two new faces today!
Both of them were younger men, one named Remington (16 years old) and another named Mcallister (I hope that’s how his name is spelled & I am not sure of his age, but he’s a couple years older than I, so early 20s)
Mcallister sat next to me at first and his brother joined us eventually. Both brothers are rather timid, but me and Mcallister had several things in common and hit it off! I am so thrilled to have people my age here! Mcallister has traveled a lot since his Sophomore year of highschool and he was more than willing to share his stories.
An hour and half passed so quick with our lovely group, and it was time for our excursion.
Today’s excursion was into the town of Kalocsa (pronounced Ka-Lo-Cha) Hungary. We had a tour guide with a wonderful personality and sense of humor, his name was Mate (accent over the E, sounds like “Marty” without a harsh R.) It was only about a 15 minute drive, which was filled with passing fields of millions upon millions of sunflowers. (I was in heaven) Between the beautiful flowers, homes, and stories Mate shared, the 15 minute ride blew by!
We got off the bus and right away you noticed a pattern throughout the city. Every building and house was a shade of yellow. They didn’t call it “the Yellow City” but I will call it that for the rest of my life. There was just a joyous feeling the city gave off between the happy colors around every corner and the friendly people.
We piled into a small church in the square and were serenaded by a short organ concert (my music geek heart is in love with this trip between the Organ played by Franz Liszt in 1859 yesterday at the Jewish Synagogue, and the organ concert today, and there is even more music features you’ll hear me gush about through out the rest of the trip!!!!!!!)
After the concert, we walked through the town a little longer, taking more pictures, hearing more stories, it was quickly time for the next activity!
We boarded the bus and headed off to the Bakodpuszta Equestrian Center. As soon as we got off, we were offered a piece of bread with “Curly Hair Pig” lard and Paprika on it. Sticking to our “try everything once” policy, we both took some, a little hesitantly. Quite honestly it was scarier sounding than it tasted as it really didn’t taste like much at all!
We then watched an acrobatic horse show and walked through a very small but charming souvenir market. Before the end of the tour, we were offered some of Hungarian’s most prized drink, Apricot Brandy.
It burned the whole way down our throats. Like the most horrific medicine you could ever taste. HOLY PURE ALCOHOL.
We boarded the bus, headed home, had a boat safety meeting, a “face check” (in order to leave the Hungarian boarder, we had to go through a group of Hungarian officials who checked to make sure our faces matched our passport pictures), and then took about a 2 hour nap.
By that point it was 4:30 and we really just spent the rest of the day reading/journal-ing, or eating and spending time with our usual group. It was relaxing and oh so wonderful.

The day had the most perfect conclusion as the sunset painted the sky with the richest pinks & orangish reds that you could see no matter what direction you were facing.

Once again, I am reminded how amazingly creative God is.
How faithful He is.
Me and Gram are both safe, and having the times of our lives going across the world and witnessing some more of His masterpieces throughout Europe. It makes us hungry for more! It is such an honor to share such a spectacular time with my Gram, I couldn’t possibly be having any more of a wonderful time!

I want to see as much of this earth as I can while I’m here. I want to cherish God’s beautiful works! Be it European countries, or people we meet along the way.
May our eyes be open to the adventures that await us. Be it across the country, or right outside our doors. There is SO much to see, even around where you are sitting right now. Beautiful places, and extremely wonderful people.

It is my prayer that no matter where you are, or where you go, that you would see the beauty we miss when we focus on the things we “don’t see”, or the things we think we need/want to see.

So let’s explore.
God didn’t make us to stay in one place.

All my love,
Ash

The Kindness of Strangers

Hello my friends and family! Happy day 29! I just want to take a moment to say that this journey is not one that is only affecting my present. It is birthing bigger dreams for the future. It is teaching me to cherish my past and to realize that I cannot hold onto the hurts I’ve felt, but only to the hope I found in the midst of it. I am reminded of how important it is to cherish the place and time of age we are in because it is FOR A REASON.

Today I was reminded how powerful a single person can be. I discovered the beautiful chain of reactions that kindness offers and how worth it it is to help those around us. To stop dreaming of another time and stepping into the time and place I am in. Because there is need out there, and us looking at another time means we are missing it. We are missing opportunity to be friendly strangers. The story I experienced today is one I will truly never forget, and one I will tell often because it impacted me. But I’ll get to that in a second…

Let me first summarize the day:

This morning at 7:30 am, me and Gram woke up, threw our stuff into our suitcases, and went downstairs for breakfast at the amazing breakfast buffet I gushed about yesterday. Just to give a little perspective of how charming this place was, it was called “Paris Budapest” and as you walked in, the first thing you heard was “bonjour!” Amongst a million different breakfast options, ranging from coco puffs, to the amazing “cookie) waffles (which of course I had again today), to pancakes, to individually customized omelets, to hashbrowns, they also had at least 5 feet of fancy cheeses and smoked salmons and trouts, and any kind of fruit chutney you could dream up. They didn’t just have syrup from a bottle, they had a million flavored syrups that they MADE. The eating are had beautiful shades of pink and reds everywhere and it felt like you were sitting in the most beautiful flower. As if it couldn’t get any better, they made the most amazing cappuccinos with that PERFECT instagram worthy foam on the top AND everyone was just so friendly and helpful. Me and Gram ate like queens and laughed and smiled the hour away! I will never forget it!

I am so grateful to be here with her. Her willingness to try everything once is contagious and her ease of making friends everywhere she goes inspires me always to do the same! There is not a single moment where we are aren’t laughing or smiling. We simply have the perfect balance of personalities! She is one of my best friends,and I don’t think she will ever understand how grateful I am to have her in my life.

After breakfast, we walked back up to our lovely hotel room to say goodbye (and also to grab as many free toiletries as possible, who am I kidding. They are scented “Orange Ginger” and they smell like citrus and fall and I LOVE them.) We then rode the elevator down to the bottom floor to meet our tour group for the Jewish Synagogue & Jewish Quarters tour we had selected.

Our tour guide’s name was Gregory. He was very kind and had an EPIC beard. It was amazing how much knowledge he had, and how he could answer any question you could possibly have!

Oh my goodness. The synagogue was HUGE. The second largest one IN THE WORLD (they told us the largest one is actually in New York which I never knew and MUST go visit ASAP.) But aside from being huge, it was absolutely gorgeous. From the outside, the stonework and colors they incorporated everywhere made you SO excited to see what the inside looked like. Every stain glass window incorporated the most beautiful cobalt blue and mustard gold and the Star of David was everywhere it could possibly be. The energy inside it was contagious as you felt the breaths of everyone in the room leave them. I felt so alive. So in awe. Me and Gram couldn’t say the word “beautiful” enough times (that seems to be a theme of this country.) We had the most lovely woman as our tour guide for the synagogue (for the life of me, I cannot remember her beautiful name, but I remember it was something I had never heard of before) and she had such a lovely perspective of everything she said. She shared the information and history of her religion as if it was the most beautiful story you’ve ever heard. She made every part seem important, you wanted to hear every single word that left her mouth.

She taught me SO much about the Jewish religion that I’ve never known. She emphasized certain parts of it and explained why they were so important. She was specific and told everything to you as if she couldn’t say enough good things about it.

She talked of the horrible sadness World War II brought to the Hungarian Jews. She shared heartbreaking numbers of innocent lives that were stolen out of hate.

She talked about how they healed after that. How they clung to their religion through out the entire time and how special it was, and is to them.

She shared the stories behind all the details throughout the building. My favorite being the 4,000-5,000 pipe organ incorporated into the back wall. My heart shot out of my chest, almost as quickly as my gasp did when she told us that the first person to ever play the Organ was Franz Liszt in 1859 for the building’s very first service (THE MUSIC NERD WITHIN ME DIED A LITTLE.)

We walked through the memorial garden and felt the presence of emotion everywhere. In the middle of it all, there was a huge silver statue of a weeping willow, and in-scripted on the leaves upon each branch was a name of a Jew who passed away, either at Auschwitz, or in the ghetto that that German had turned the area surrounding the synagogue into. Over 600,000 Hungarian Jews were killed.

In another corner of the garden, there were plaques with the names of people who saved many Jews’ lives. Some examples being Raoul Wallenberg and Sir Nicholas Winton.

People who saw help was needed, and stepped up.

People who wanted to help strangers no matter who they were.

Sir Nicholas Winton saved 669 Jewish children. Today, after those children grew up and had their own children, who then had their own children, and so on, the total lives that have been produced out of his willingness to help is 15,000 lives. Lives that wouldn’t have been possible without him.

And it was 50 years after he did so before anyone ever knew about it. The only reason people know about it today is because his wife found his records of the names of all the children he saved and brought them and him together to meet after all those years.

For him, it wasn’t about the attention or acknowledgment. It wasn’t about reward or recognition. He saw where help was needed and stepped up. He impacted those 15,000 lives, and impacts everyone who learns of his story because he showed how powerful 1 persons’ kindness and willingness to help and to change the world is!!

This was a theme today.

Going backwards a little bit, you have to know that almost the entire day, it was raining/pouring. Me and Gram didn’t have an umbrella, but we also didn’t mind getting wet, however, one of the men on the tour kindly offered us his umbrella.
At first, we said no and continued on our way, but he continued to offer it periodically. After a few minutes, he insisted we take it as “his conscience wouldn’t allow him to have it when we were in need.” So we accepted and moments later, it started pouring. As we walked along and remained dry, he grew wetter and wetter. Only until another woman on the tour offered him her umbrella as she had a rain coat and was more than willing to share! Notice the chain reaction. For him, it didn’t matter if he got wet. He saw a need, and wanted to help. Felt compelled to help.

Now, I understand that this is a different kind of situation, and a different kind of help, but the message it spreads is clear.

Kindness is contagious.

People WANT to help.

People +Kindness + Willingness to Help = impact.

Me and Gram declared today’s blog title to be “The Kindness of Strangers at about 1 o’clock this afternoon because it was everywhere. And it was contagious.

It opened my eyes. It made me realize that there is no help to big or too small. It showed us how one simple act of kindness starts a chain reaction. It forced me to recognize that instead of searching for a big way to cause change in the world, or waiting for bigger opportunities, it is time to open my eyes to all the ones around me.

I’m talking everything from offering to take a picture for a stranger, to holding the door. I am talking offering an umbrella, to risking our lives to save others. There is no act too small. Everything has an impact!

Don’t do it for you.

Don’t do it for benefit or reward.

Do it because you would want someone to do the same for you. SPREAD LOVE EVERYWHERE. LOOK FOR WAYS TO HELP. KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS AND POWERFUL.

It saves lives.

And that was all before 2 pm!! I am telling you, there is something magical about this place that just changes you. The culture is inspiring, these people BREATH helping each other and recognize how much stronger people are when they come together to bring change. It is a HUGE part of their history.

We boarded a bus after a coffee/cake break similar to yesterday’s and headed to board the ship!

It was docked right beside the “Bridge of Chains’ which is just as unique and beautiful as it sounds. We unpacked and could hardly contain our excitement. The boat is beautiful, but the energy on it is addictive. Everyone is so kind and interested in your story and sharing their own. No one is a stranger here.

After a lovely hour and a half of meeting some new friends on the ship, we had an amazing dinner and met even more lovely, adventurous people that had amazing stories!

Me and Gram ended the night by sitting up on deck, admiring the amazing sight of the city at night. Every historical building (which is most of them here) is lit up at night, including the bridge, and there are simply no words to describe the bright and bubbly sight this is. It’s almost as if the city is sprinkled in pixie dust. We talked of the amazing things we saw and learned about and how it all has changed us in ways we never imagined a city could.

I am addicted to this city.

I am addicted to experiencing new.

I am inspired to be opened eyed to all opportunities.

I am arms and mind wide open to be change in the world.

I am blown away by God’s presence all around.

I am tingly inside with excitement to see even more of His creations tomorrow.

I have a new perspective of change. Of what it can mean and how beautiful it can be. I am determined to be beautiful change in the world. Excited to spend everyday from now on as a servant of The Lord, helping everywhere and loving others as much as possible. It is my favorite journey, and I owe the inspiration to embark on it to God and the beautiful Budapest He’s made.

I am ready to be a friendly stranger everyday, 24/7, 365 days a year.

Are you?

All my love,

Ash

Hello from Budapest!

Hello my friends and family! Happy day 27!!
I know it had been several days since you last heard from me, but it has been a very hectic couple of days! I am writing this blog from Budapest! I couldn’t be any happier to say that!

I will be throughout Europe for the next 12 days, and wifi/american outlets are hard to come by, so my blog may not be updated daily, but I promise to try my best!

Let me share what the past 48 hours have looked like:
Yesterday, after missing one flight, multiple delayed flights, and a temporarily missing piece of luggage, we arrived in Budapest, Hungary at about 4 pm! And this I can promise you, all of that stress we experienced between the events listed above were quickly replaced with the gratitude and laughter our time in Budapest has filled our hearts with. The architecture is exquisite. The colors are bold and unforgettable. The amount of detail put into every single building often makes me think of the detail God put into each of us. There is just something about it that makes it individually special. You want to remember everything your eyes see, and attempt to take pictures of it, even though it’s no where near as beautiful as it is when your eyes witness it.

Being the legal age of drinking is so much fun, yet, it also makes me feel so much older. Not in a bad way for once, just makes me feel like I finally understand this huge piece of adulthood. It doesn’t get old no matter how many times you order a drink, it’s simply becoming a very enjoyable habit that I will miss when I am back in the states (I can feel my parents cringing as I type these words!)

Yesterday and today we had dinner at the same restaurant (that for the life of me, I cannot remember the name) but what we will always remember is how delicious the food is and how genuinely kind the staff is! I had my first Hungarian dish today, which was Beef Goulash, and let me tell you, Hungarians know good food! One of their specialties here is paprika and they find ways to incorporate it into EVERYTHING, including Brandy! This morning, me and Gram had breakfast at the hotel and it was incredible! From the truly freshly squeezed orange juice, to the waffles that tasted like fresh baked cookies, it was a morning meal I will never forget! And so beautifully presented that I had to desperately fight the American tourism within my heart that wanted to hold the line and take photos! (I snuck one anyways hehe) After breakfast, we embarked on our own little tour (a.k.a. we accidentally missed the provided one so we created our own and I just know ours was more fun!) We first exchanged some money into Forints (also known as Huffs) and grabbed a few beautiful postcards along the way! Then we walk along side the river to the shoe memorial. The memorial is in memory of the Hungarian Jews that were forced to take off their shoes because of their worth, and were shot and fell into the river. Between the children sized shoes, and the burning candles, the emotion was everywhere. Your heart aches for a tragedy that you wish you could’ve stopped. I feel that way often these days with the tragedies in the news. It filled my soul with a hunger to help more people, to cherish life, and to take NOTHING for granted. Next, we walked along a street called Jozeff Atilla, which had the most amazing cathedral I’ve ever seen at the end of it. Every single centimeter of this wonder took my breath away. There wasn’t a single place to look that wasn’t amazing! Nothing about it was usual or like anything any place else! It was stunning and the organ in it made the music nerd within me jump for joy!! As we walked along, we were serenaded by the people apart of a service that was occurring while us tourists gasped in amazement. Between the beautiful sights and the glorious music, I was in heaven.

Afterwards, we walked back to the hotel for our guided tour in a part of Budapest called Szentandre and OH MY WORD I couldn’t take enough pictures of this charming town!!!
It was filled to the brim with original artwork, art museums, and happy people! You could buy gelato shops, or cute coffee stops on almost every corner. It SCREAMED Ashlyn.
We had a tour of the Margit Kovacs museum. Margit Kovac was a 20th century artist who adored sculpting ceramics. They were captivating, and her intent and message behind each piece was memorable. It’s impossible to pick one favorite, but if I did, it would be her piece titled “live and dead headstones.” It was a flat piece of ceramic with a few intentionally placed painted headstones and woman mourners clothed in black. There was no description beside any of the pieces, which I feel she did intentionally because it let your mind wonder and create the pieces. In my head, this piece represented how just as headstones are placed in a graveyard in remembrance of people, we are living remembers of people. But, I feel it also represents how often when someone we love dies, we die. Not physically, but a part of our heart, or maybe even the whole heart feels dead. To me, it reminded me that when those we love pass away, it is a waste for us to let our happiness or desire to live die with them because they wouldn’t want us to feel that way. They want us to live and cherish it!
We had the most delicious chocolate cake after the museum that made me wish America baked like Hungary. And after a couple more hours of walking around and falling in love, we drove back to Budapest.

Now we are showered and cozy-ed up in our hotel, recounting and cherishing the memories and stories we gained today, and preparing our hearts for the ones we will create tomorrow.
Let me end with this.
God created a beautiful earth.
God created beautiful people.
God is here.
God is everywhere.
And this trip has turned my travel bug on ultra high. I want to see as much of the beautiful earth that God created as I possibly can because he put SO much detail in the world! He has placed so much beauty around us and we take it for granted too often and I refuse to do it anymore! There is too much beauty and love and joy to stay in one place. God doesn’t want that for us. He didn’t carefully create this earth or the purposes of our life for us to stay in one place.

So let’s explore!! My heart hungers for it!
Does yours?

What’s stopping you?
All my love,
Ash & God

Today, I am angry.

Happy day 19 my loves! I pray that this post finds you at peace and in love with your life.

Today’s post is short, but honest, and one that I would normally be afraid to share.

You see, I’m angry. And on social media platforms, it’s frowned upon to be frowning.

People don’t often share the harsher parts of their life, using Instagram as an example, people tend to create a platform where their life looks perfect or exactly like they wish it was.

And in the moments behind the screen, the moments where you realize that your life is not all smiles and perfectly filtered, it can be infuriating.

We like to hide behind our perfect looking photos of our perfect looking lives. And it can be very hard to come out of hiding from that.

So here is me, coming out of hiding. Being open about the fact that some days, I am just angry. Upset. Confused. Worried.

But what’s important to remember is that being angry is okay! Being upset or worried is okay!! Heck,even God gets angry sometimes.

What’s important to remember is that we can’t stay there. We have to fight like heck to gain our happiness back and to forgive whatever made us angry in the first place.
If God didn’t do that, if He didn’t give second chance after second chance, and if He didn’t constantly forgive, the world would be a whole lot different.

We must give grace. Endless grace. To others, and ourselves.

Even when we don’t want to.

In fact, ESPECIALLY when we don’t want to.

Because God does, and He has way more that He could be angry about than we do.

So today although I am angry, I am choosing to be happy tomorrow.

I am channeling my inner rivers of grace, the ones God has filled me with, and choosing to wake up with a fresh start tomorrow. Because being angry SUCKS. I imagine that’s why God doesn’t choose to be angry often.

Let’s make the world a better place by choosing to give endless amounts of grace instead of grief.

All my love,

Ash

4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

9 For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

 – Psalm 37:4-14