If there is anything I have learned for certain in the last 21 years, it is that time truly does fly, whether you’re having fun or not.
And with knowing that can come HUGE responsibility. For me, suddenly laying on the couch all day is a bad thing?? That I feel bad about when I do it??
But on the other end, it has truly encouraged me to live life more fearlessly. It has helped me take back all those minutes I would normally spend on worrying or being indecisive.
So walking into 2019 has been so exciting! New Years crept up on me last year, I could hardly believe it was already time for another year. 2018 was filled with a lot of change for me, all changes that I chose, and some of them with very difficult outcomes. I spent that last bit of 2018 breathing them in and letting this season of lessons I picked fill my lungs. It is important to be humble enough to see when something is completely our fault, but also so critical that we forgive ourselves for it. So 2019 is my year to exhale and so far 2019 has been a friend to me.
As some of you may know, I left the nest in 2018. I moved from Texas to Philadelphia, Pennsylvania. I never thought of myself as a “city girl” but I was certain I could play the part! And I never believed how difficult it was gonna be no matter how many times people prepared me. I spent parts of the last 5 months of 2018 figuring out how to not feel like a square shaped peg trying to shove myself into a triangle hole.
And something about 2019 has brought a peace to my heart about it. January 1st danced in with a breeze of confidence I lacked, and I knew I wanted that back. I am where I am, and this year has already shown me that I am the only person capable of making my situation a thriving one. I am not my environment, I am me. That is a CRITICAL thing to know in this city.
SO, I started to read the Bible, because if I am going to be happy wherever I am, it starts with being happy and at peace on the inside. I started in the very beginning, the story of the creation of the earth. I have read through it a few times, but there was something that caught me when I read it this time.
- Genesis 1:14 -> And God said, ” Let there be lights in the expanse of the sky to separate the day from the night, and let them serve as signs to mark seasons and days and years.
God created the ways we track time. Maybe this seems silly, but I never associated the concept of time with God? I’ve always categorized it as being a man-made concept, yet, The Bible is filled with events/seasons and the days, weeks, or months they lasted. It was one of the first things God established! So for me, it has made 2019 seem extra different than any other. Because I truly believe that God has hand crafted my 2019 year. And yes I know He has crafted my other 21 years, but this is really my first time being conscious of it, and appreciating that makes this year feel significant. We spend so much time crafting lists of resolutions and proclaiming “this is my year”, but what if every year has been “my” year. What if it is because I hadn’t taken the time to truly understand God’s part in making that year, that other years haven’t felt like 2019? Maybe I’ve thought I laid down my years for God before, but really I can’t lay something down that He already has in His hands. He’s had His hands on 2019 way before I did. And with this being the year that I began to comprehend that for the first time, it makes sense why 2019 has felt like the quench to my thirst in life I have been looking for.
So basically so far in 2019, I have realized a concept that has been right in front of me. And maybe that seems silly to even write a blog about, but life seems to be full of truly realizing what’s in front of us. And knowing, really truly knowing and believing that God’s hand has crafted my 2019 year has to be the best encouragement to go into a year with possible. Because I know that no list I make could ever hold what I am capable of this year. In fact, I have no idea what this year holds, and for the first time, that is way more exciting than it is scary! And through every beautiful and every difficult part of this year, I am never alone. I have nothing to fear!
For the past few years, I have had a name for my year. A word that I could write upon my heart and carry with me through every high and low that year had for me. And 2019 is my “To Begin” year. I honestly am not sure what it means, and that is how I know it’s perfect.
SO here is to beginning this year. Let that mean whatever it is meant to for you and your life. Here is to being unafraid to begin. To cease wasting time worrying about time. God made time, God made you , God made 2019 and it has something beautiful in store for you.