Change

Hello my lovely friends and family, it is I, the elusive Ashlyn Miller returning from her blogging disappearance, yet again. I wish I had a better excuse than the one I do, which is my mixed combination of laziness and writers block.

I have decided to write about one of the most written about yet misunderstood concepts in the world: change.

What is change?

CHANGE:
Verb
1. make or become different.
2. take or use another instead of.
Noun
1. the act or instance of making or becoming different.
2. coins as opposed to paper currency.

I wanna take a moment to break down each of these definitions…

MAKE OR BECOME DIFFERENT

When I read this, I think of an artist with clay in their hands, shaping and shifting this work of art upon their skin. Constantly finding something they can twist a little more or thin out a little bit. Adding colors and personality. Making it whatever they want it to be, and no matter what, it is beautiful. Because they made it, and a part of them is in this creation of theirs. We call this act beautiful, yet when it is happening to us, we call it scary, painful, not what we wanted. Add God into this picture. An artist shaping and shifting his creation, adding colors and personality. Intwining purpose with beauty. He calls this act beautiful, and we call it scary, painful, and not what we wanted. I wonder how many beautiful pieces of art God has made for us that we refused. I wonder how many opportunities God painted for me that I missed. God thrives on making us become different in beautiful ways. We were not made to ever be content with who we are or where we are at, because there is always more. Always more smiles, more laughter, more freedom, more opportunity, more dreams… We are a work of art, constantly being added to. And sometimes, we have to change in order to achieve those things. I would never have been sitting in this adorable cafe in Fort Worth, Texas that I have grown to adore if I hadn’t moved here. I wouldn’t have started working with an amazing group of human beings at Apple that inspire me everyday to be the best version of myself I can possibly be.  I wouldn’t have started going to Gateway and changing my relationship with God. If I hadn’t made my life different, if I hadn’t changed my location, I wouldn’t be me. I dreaded moving here, I made myself miserable here for months. I refused to see how beautiful some of the changes around me were. There are many days where I look back at those weeks of my refusal that I wish I could take back. I wish I could’ve let go of my “comfort” in things I had known, to be brave and jump into the unknown. Because once I did, I saw how beautiful change is. I saw God’s purpose begin to unfold, and even though I am no where near done with this season of change, it isn’t so scary anymore.  I want to stop being afraid of change, I want to stretch out and let God mold my life into a new piece of art every single day, that I would never call change ugly again.

TAKE OR USE INSTEAD OF ANOTHER

With the word change, comes opportunity, as in we have an opportunity to embrace change. When we are faced with change, we have the opportunity to run in fear and stay where we are, or dance in the wind of change and grow. It blows my mind how easily we stay where we are. We feel like we have the best view possible from the step we are standing on instead of taking in a huge breath of fresh air and jumping to the next one! We have the opportunity to TAKE the opportunities, instead of staying in our current one. New opportunities come for a reason, and even though they sometimes cause us to stretch and grow, it is so we can see an even higher and more beautiful view. This concept of seeing a bigger brighter view inspires me to grow closer to Jesus, as he has the most beautiful view of us all. Even Jesus has opportunities. With all of the evil that goes through the world everyday, Jesus chooses every morning and every night to continue to believe. To believe that we will all be beautiful tomorrow, and that light will reign again. If God can look at the earth and still believe it can be beautiful, that earth can still draw heaven near, how could I not believe that in my life. I want to stop being afraid of change, I want to jump out of the shade and into the sunlight, letting God grow and flourish my life, even and ESPECIALLY when I don’t understand what he is doing.

THE ACT OR INSTANCE OF MAKING OR BECOMING DIFFERENT

One of my favorite things to do in life is to try new foods. I love trying different cultures’ foods and savoring all of the different flavors that come with each. I have a firm policy of trying everything at least once when it comes to food, and I laugh at myself often for not embracing that concept in more areas of my life. At the beginning of this year, I decided to name this year my “fearless” year, my attempt to flood this desire of trying everything at least once, this desire of embracing different experiences and goals and challenges, into every corner of my life. I think one of my failures in accomplishing this goal is that I expect change to occur in an instance, when really change cannot be limited. It has never been sent with a specific time amount, for if it was, we might miss out on the full capacity of that season’s growth, and I don’t want to miss out anymore. SO that being said, I am through with limiting my instances of change to an instance. I want my whole life to be an open act of change, that by being so free and open to change, others around me might cease being afraid of change themselves. I want to stop being afraid of different, I want to grow with every twist and turn instead of choosing to remain, iwant to paint my life  different, letting God use me as a beacon of light to those who fear the unknown, that I would never fear the unknown again, and never limit the amount of change, or the amount of time it takes for my changes to occur. NO MORE LIMITS.

COINS AS OPPOSED TO PAPER CURRENCY

This one may be my very favorite today as I realized something super important. Physical, emotional, mental, and spiritual change, is SO MUCH LIKE LITERAL CHANGE. I am talking pennies, nickels, dimes, quarters… Change, no matter the size of the amount, is WORTH SOMETHING. Even a penny is worth something! CHANGE IN OUR LIVES IS THE SAME WAY. Change happens for a reason because it is WORTH SOMETHING. And without change, we could not attain certain things in our lives!!! Change is something we work for and use daily, and CHANGE ADDS UP. I have never been very good at collecting change in a big jar like you see in the movies, but I want this year to be the year that I proudly put out my change jar in my heart and watch it fill up. That I would use my change to experience beautiful experiences and adventures. I want to open my eyes to the vast and grand worth of change, letting God fill me to the brim with it, that I would learn great things, and us those great things to be a great thing. That I would count my change as lucky and worth saving up and keeping, no matter how big or small. NO MORE LIMITS.

My friends, change can make us beautiful. Change can be a beautiful opportunity worth taking. Change can be a beautiful instance, or a beautiful while. Change can be worth something, IF we see, take, believe, and receive it as such. WE ARE DONE BEING AFRAID. It is time to dance in the rain of change and flourish!!! We all have it in us!! God  made us to be forever changing, forever taking that next step and seeing that next view, and we are done being afraid because God did not make us to be afraid.

So as for me, and I pray for all of you, let’s change.

God I pray for my heart, and for the heart of everyone on this earth, that change would come. That beauty would reign again and that we would grow more and more in you every single day. That we would all stretch up to the sky and continue to grow closer and closer to you every single day. That we would see more and more the beauty that you see and never fear taking a step higher every again. May this be the year where our hearts cry out for change and walk out every step you have of us. God thank you for you unending patience and grace, my we extend those same gifts to ourselves and those around us. No more fear, in the name of Jesus.

Amen.

Let’s do this.

Time to grow.

Time to step into the light.

Won’t you join me?

All my love,
Ash

No Solution, is no solution.

Hello my dear family and friends! We are officially 1 week into 2017, and the word “resolution” is on everyone’s lips.

res·o·lu·tion

ˌrezəˈlo͞oSH(ə)n/

noun

1. a firm decision to do or not to do something.
2. the action of solving a problem, dispute, or contentious matter

Before we get into why I have that definition up there…

This afternoon me and all of the Miller girls, featuring a special guest Ms. Kristina D’Amico, went to see Hidden Figures and all of us left in tears. It was a film that went beyond any standard or limit. It was a movie that didn’t waste a single second to inspire the audience. it inspired us with the most inspirational thing there is,

the truth.

“Based on a true story. A team of African-American women provide NASA with important mathematical data needed to launch the program’s first successful space missions.” -IMDB.com

This movie fixated on solutions. Spanning from solutions to the massive problem of segregation, to mathematical problems that enables a man to orbit earth. Both types of solutions changing the world.
What made these woman different, is that they didn’t believe in the concept of there being “no solution.” They didn’t get to the status they had, or make the world changing actions they did by settling for the answer “no solution.” They were firsts. And despite their great impact, despite the fact that this great historical moment wouldn’t have happened without them,  it was over 45 years before the country learned their names.

These world changers were three people. Three human beings. But because of their skin color, their names weren’t in the papers. Their faces weren’t sketched in our history text books. Their stories deserve to be heard, it always did. And it took a 25 million dollar movie to share that story with the wide range of an audience it always deserved.

Why is this important? We can’t change the past. We can’t go back change the people who kept this story to themselves’ minds. What does this have to do with resolutions?

A resolution is a firm decision to do or not do something, and I’m just saying this:

I wanna do more. 

I wanna hear more.

I wanna see more.

I wanna share more.

I wanna believe more.

I wanna encourage more.

I wanna learn more.

I wanna do more do’s, and less don’ts.

I wanna find more solutions.

I wanna change those “wanna”s into “did”s.

Those woman spent their whole lives doing more, and the world is a better place because of it.

May this be a year of “no solution” being unacceptable.

May this be the year that people make movies about 45 years from now.

May this be the year of doing what we say we will do,

not just because we are capable of doing it,

but because we were made to do it. 

Maybe it’s a math solution, maybe it’s a degree, maybe it’s a job, maybe it’s a song, maybe it’s a painting, maybe it’s a conversation, maybe it’s a hobby, maybe it’s saying hello more, maybe it’s saying I love you more, or maybe it’s just saying yes more.

I am saying yes.

Yes to 2017 being the year of solutions.
The year of not settling for the “solutions” we settled for last year.
The year of not being afraid to create new solutions this year.
The year of not accepting “no solution”, as the solution.

Share more.

More stories,

more of your heart.

There are so many heroes in this world that we don’t know about, and that’s okay. Being a hero doesn’t require people knowing your name. All that matters is that what you do makes a difference, and someone is impacted by it. These woman didn’t do what they did in order to be noticed. They didn’t require recognition. I pray that I will always be the same. Doing for the sake of doing, not ever for reward.

Thrive in your differences.
This year and every year after that.
Make the world a better place because you don’t want to settle for anything less.
Because if the people who have changed the world before us had settled for anything less,

well we don’t even wanna know what that would look like.

May we never know what that looks like.

Let’s make sure this is a year that we will remember, and want to remember, because of how much of an impact it had on the world.  May it be a year worth sharing about. A year where every amazing thing, and every amazing person is known. May we never settle for any less. Heck, may it be a year worth making a movie about.

So Happy 2017 my friends and family,
may it be a year of resolutions that lead to solutions,
because no solution, is not a solution.

And I’m not going to settle this year,

are you? 

All my love,

Ashlyn

 

 

 

2017

Amazing Grace, how sweet the sound,

That saved a wretch like me.

I once was lost but now I’m found,

Was blind, but now I see.

Happy 2017 my dear friends and family!

As this year begins, these words inspire me for the days to come. What makes this song so wonderful is how grateful the words and the meaning behind the words are.

Words like amazing and sweet sing to my soul. I once was lost but now I’m find, was blind but now I see. I can’t read that without smiling. It takes me back to the moments I struggled through in 2016, and refreshes me with the truth that I didn’t just survive those moments, I learned from them, and gained a better sense of the world.

Giving me such new outlook to walk into 2017 with.

This song talks about grace, and boy oh boy does this world need it. I think back to moments and opportunities I missed out on because I didn’t show grace. To myself or those around me.

I think of all the people I met that shined with grace. I remember how inspiring they were to me. I remember meeting people that didn’t waste a single opportunity to share that grace. I relish in the fact that I want to walk out of 2017 feeling I left that same impression on the people I’ll interact with this year.

My friends,

whether we are ready or not,

it is a new year,

and we are standing on a mountain of opportunity.

I encourage you. I encourage myself, to walk into this year with a purpose of making the world a better place. A purpose of inspiring everyone we meet. Of loving more. Of laughing more. Of creating. Of branching out. Of ceasing that act of comparison. Of celebrating the little things, and cherishing the big things. Of using our mobile devices to make the world a better place, instead of letting it be our world. Of spending more time in conversations. Of saying lots of hellos. Of more hugs. Of more cheers. Of more try try agains. Of more believing. Of more hope. Of more you, being the best of you there is. A year of more Amazing Grace.

I am so so excited. Aren’t you?

2017,

Here. We. Come. 

All my love and support of your dreams,

Ashlyn.

Home is wherever I’m with you

As I write this, I struggle to find the balance between writing freely, and over thinking every word. I’ve tried to write this a couple times, this first blog back from a several month hiatus, and for some reason it’s been really hard. I think one of the worst parts I find about taking breaks from writing is that suddenly your craft, this thing you appreciate and adore, feels foreign to you. That’s kind of the theme of this post, the idea that when things, people or places, feel like strangers because we walk away from them for too long. But then we coming back to them, and are embraced freely and without judgment, simply because they’re just happy we’re back.

So, here is my latest mountain:

SURPRISE! I moved to Fort Worth, Texas! About a month ago, me and 6 of my 7 family members packed up the contents of our life in a 24ft moving truck and embarked on a 7 day journey half way across the country. We moved really fast, kind of like a refresh button. But it was a refresh I didn’t think I needed, or more specifically, wanted for myself. I knew, however, how hard it would be to stay back and be so far away from my family.

I prayed about it long and hard, because here was this thing in my life, this problem, this uncertainty.

Now, what seems to be a pattern for me is that it takes something coming up for me to go and talk to God. That’s when I go and ask “what are you doing?” “where am I going?” “what is your plan?”

I can’t help but feel that God is like, “Ya know, I’m absolutely willing to share all of this with you, but I really kinda wish you would’ve come to me sooner. I’ve got all this stuff going on behind the scenes, and I know you don’t really see much of it yet, but if you would’ve come, if you would’ve asked, if you would’ve just said ‘hey dude, what’s shaken’ or where do you want me?’ we could’ve had this great conversation, but now I need you to just trust me. I need you to take my hand and believe that wherever you go, there is a purpose for it.”

So, I went to God, I prayed really hardcore, asking all the questions, “do I stay or do I go” and clear as day… Crystal clear as day, God said, “Follow Your Family.”Every time I prayed about it, the answer remained the same.

This pissed me off. I was praying so hard for a different answer then the one I was given. I was not content with the answer I was being given. And so, I followed my human tendencies, and became resentful. I fell right into my favorite weapon… the silent treatment.

God is so good. So good. And yet the only phrases I sang to Him were “where are you? “what the heck are you thinking, why am I here, why am I not here, why is this happening in my life, what do you want?”

I really noticed in my life this past month the way that I’ve been carrying out my relationship with God, and it’s this:

It’s like I’m sitting across from Him at a coffee table. Here I am sitting across from one of the most amazing, most creative, most inspiring friend ever. Here’s God, sitting in front of me all the time. We are always at this coffee table, I will always have this opportunity to look up and say “hey, what do you think about this”, and you know what I do instead? I look anywhere but towards Him. I’ll look at the ground or my phone or anywhere expect in front of me. And yet, I will have the audacity to say “I miss you God.”

Why do we only miss God when stuff gets hard?  Why is that when we notice we haven’t been looking at God, and on top of that, instead of noticing that we aren’t looking at God, we point our fingers and say “where are you?”

How gracious is God that he doesn’t yell at us every day saying “where are you?!” he’s sitting here, looking at you with the most adoring eyes saying “you know, I’m ready whenever you are. Finish whatever you’re working on, but just so you know, I’m here. I’d love to talk.”

Throughout the craziness that was this move, through the days of bitterness and of just complete desire to go back home, to my physical home, I continued to walk farther and farther away from my home with God. And like usual, as I was walking alone… I missed Him. I missed talking to Him. I missed hearing Him in melodies. I missed Him.

You see, in my life, it’s almost become a pattern of home, run away, home, run away, and so on. And here I was, being moved from my literal home, being moved from my physical home, and instead of running into the arms of the best home ever, the arms of God. I ran away. I decided it was His fault, and that He had no idea what He was doing.

Sound familiar?

But, I still missed Him.

And quickly, those overwhelming feelings of missing Him, far outweighed my feelings of being pissed off. That all really came to a headway though about two weeks ago, in my living room with Lauren. On the TV, a Hillsong conference was being broadcasted called, “She Rises.” The worship band was just beginning to play To My Knees. 

In the second verse, it specifically says, In my vacant heart, you came and made a home and that was a sensitive but beautiful word in my life. That idea of home. In that moment, chills went up my spine because that was everything I was looking for. Everything that was all around me and yet I looked anywhere but forward. I looked anywhere but at the house I sat inside. I looked anywhere but at God across the coffee table. I had been refusing to call anything home, because it wasn’t the home I wanted. I played that song, and still play that song, on repeat constantly. And with each time, my voice got a little louder, my arms got a little higher, I moved my gaze closer and closer to God. “In my vacant heart you came and made a home, in my vacant heart you came and made a home, in my vacant heart you came and made a home” because that is what I need in every aspect of my life. No matter where I go or where I am, or who I am surrounded by, that is what will always matter. As long as I am home with God, I will always feel at home. The only reason I didn’t feel at home here was because I wasn’t home with God.

This is kinda a different branch of the story, but it rings loud in my heart as well. I have never been very good at reading the bible. That is me being completely transparent. Me, a pastors kid my whole life, couldn’t tell you all the chapters’ names or quote much of any verses. I get distracted, I don’t understand what it means. I just struggled to get through it or take anything away from it. I’ve always had so many people around me talk about how they don’t just read the bible, but they journal through it, and here I am hardly able to read through it and just focus. And during this recent reunion with God, I knew I didn’t want to settle for that anymore. I saw another area in my life, in my spiritual journey where I had gotten off track and hadn’t tried to fix it.

This moment in my living room… this was it. That was the finish line for my wandering identity. I needed to worship. I needed to pray. I needed to read, love, and understand the word.

For about two years now, a bible verse that God has constantly put on my heart is Isaiah 14:7 – All the lands are at rest and at peace; they break into singing. Now some of you know more of my story than others, but almost two years ago, my life went through a huge emotional change in which I suffered loss, pain, and betrayal, and my life was anything but at rest or peace. And yet, God sang that verse to me. At first I was almost angry at Him.  “My life’s not at rest! I’m not at peace! And I don’t even know how to break into song anymore.” I mean the things of life are never really at rest or peaceful, right?

So here I was, two weeks ago, coming out of another phase of wandering, desperate to find peace, desperate to find rest and BAM Isaiah 14:7, right on cue. So I read it, I’m like “Dude, what are you talking about? What does this mean?”

And I felt God say, “What are you gonna do to make this verse true? 

What are you gonna do to make the lands feel at peace and at rest? I am willing to help you, I am willing to get you there, but what are YOU gonna do to get there?”

I think a lot of time in life, we just expect God to do 100%, and what we don’t realize is that God LOVES teamwork. He loves working with us! He loves when we are actually interested in working with Him, and carrying out His word, and making the world a better place. In changing lives and saving lives. 

“What are you gonna do to make your life at rest and at peace? 

What are you gonna do to inspire the world to break into song? 

That peace would be restored over the entire world, 

so that ALL the lands are at rest 

ALL the lands are at peace

Not just your life.

I am sitting here, I am your friend

I believe in you more than you can possibly imagine. 

And I can do anything I set my heart to, but so can you so 

What are YOU going to do

to make this verse true in your life and in the lives of those around you.”

So my question for myself, for you, for your sister, brother, coworker, for your best friend or the person sitting next to you in a coffee shop is:

What are you going to do to make Isaiah 14:7 true?

First step: Come home.

All my love,

Ash

Hello from Belogradchik, Bulgaria!

My friends and family, I simply cannot express how full my heart is as I write these posts. Typing these words, re-reading the story from the day, makes me re-live and re-appreciate everything I’ve experienced. Sometimes I still can’t even believe I am here! And my heart leaps for the days down the road where I will re-read these and experience all those wonderful feelings all over again.

Today, we visited/experienced Bulgaria’s natural wonder, the “Belogradchik Rocks.” The red-hued cliffs and breathtaking mountains were incredible. It was amazing the master pieces that weathering, erosion, freezing, and countless other factors had formed. It triggered your imaginative side as you saw certain piles of rocks seemingly shaped like two lovers kissing, or maybe shaped like an elephant’s head. It was truly a rock version of cloud watching. The green colors of the trees were unreal. The smell of life bursting all around you was inspiring.

But the view.

The way your jaw hit the floor.

The way your eyes danced at the sights.

The way your entire body experienced the excitement of being alive to see this view.

Was priceless.

Everywhere you looked was spectacular. The mountains + the greenest trees you’ve ever seen + the energy of those experiencing it with you, made for a moment that I will truly never forget. We all snapped a million pictures, attempting to capture even just a little bit of the magic in a still picture form. Realizing that the pictures on your phone would never ever compare to the ones you’d taken with your eyes.

I had a moment where I walked ahead of the rest of the group, turned around this corner, and had found myself standing upon this rock with the most precious view. My eyes filled with tears and I cried. There was just something about that moment. Standing there, by myself, feeling surround by The Lord. Feeling overwhelmed by His beauty as I starred at His creations. It felt like He was jumping up and down with joy within me saying “do you like it? do you like it?” My soul danced with Him, because I LOVED it.

I left that place, with a million pictures, but more than that, I left with an overflowing heart. I left beaming with joy. I left breathing in air like it was the best thing since sliced bread. I am SO thankful to be alive and to be here and AHH just for everything!! We have so much to be grateful for! I have so much to be grateful for.

So as we live, day to day, on this beautiful planet we call home. May we stand on top of more cliffs, may we lose more of our breaths due to God’s amazing-ness, may our souls dance with The Lord’s as we witness earth’s beauty, because it is everywhere!

I am simply alive, more than ever.

And grateful, more than ever.

Praying deeply that you all would feel the same.

All my love,

All my joy,

Ash

 

Hello from the Iron Gate!

Happy 1st of August friends and family! May we all rejoice in being alive for yet another beautiful beginning of a month!! May we anticipate the beautiful adventures this month is holding for us!
As I look down the road of this month, I see the beginning of my first year of college coming closer and closer. I remember how wonderful the beginning of the school year always feels and dream of the pencils and notebooks I will buy. I imagine the thoughts I will write down and wonder what my favorite subject will be this year. This year, this big adventure I’ve been told of since grammar school. This massive mountain, is about to be moved. And I cannot wait! I hold tight to all of the lessons I’ve learned while traveling. I recall the stories and history that have been shared with me. I go into this year with a completely different perspective, and a thirst for history. I will never call history, or education in general, boring ever again. I met too many people that would’ve loved an education. I’ve met too many geniuses that couldn’t afford education. They would’ve done anything for the opportunity, so I refuse to waste or belittle mine.
I have met and heard of so many brave people. I have seen their bravery prevail even when it seemed impossible. So I refuse to enter this adventure fearful or timid.
As we sail through The Iron Gate, a scenic day of sailing here on the boat that passes through one of Europe’s natural wonders, I step into my purpose of being a natural wonder. Cruising through spectacular narrow gorges that slice through the Carpathian Mountains. Amazed by miles of towering limestone cliffs draped with forest. Ancient remains greeting us and grand memorials taking our breath away.
It was peaceful, and we were blessed with such wonderful weather for it! It gave us time to just breath and take in everything we’ve, seen, heard, and touched. Me and Gram talked for hours on the deck, just about life and everything under the sun.

I am simply feeling thankful to be alive! I am feeling so excited for my upcoming journey, and feeling so very blessed for the one I am on currently.

Hoping simple things like a new school year are exciting and inspiring you too.

All my love,

Ash

Hello from Belgrade, Serbia!

Happy day 31 my friends and family!! I cannot believe it’s already been 1 month of blogging, but I am so very blessed by it. I feel so refreshed every time I finish one of these, as I pour little bits of my days and soul into each one of them, so that I might never forget the emotions and memories I experience.

I am especially glad to have the memories. Of my travels or of visits with my grandparents. They are both experiences I will hold in my heart forever and I will forever enjoy looking back at the blog posts and reliving those moments.
Today was another day full of adventure here in Belgrade, Serbia. It was so interesting to visit the city where the people who were at the opposite side of the war we learned about in Croatia just yesterday, live. It was interesting to see how little the Serbians talk of the war, but the evidence of it is intertwined through out the city. It’s seen in bullet holes marking the side of buildings, and buildings that have yet to be redone since the bombing in the 90’s. Once again, I could hardly believe that the war had only ended about 20 years ago.

In America, we have no idea what war is anymore. Walking through a country where some of the first bombs were dropped in during WWII, witnessing the damage that remains still almost 100 years later, both physical and emotional. It made me feel that I could never complain about America again. We have forgotten how free we are. We forget how hard our ancestors worked to get us to be where we are and who we are. We mistake the progress we have to go still as a sign that we have not made any at all. It’s simply not true, but that aside, my entire perspective of my country has changed.

The buildings that weren’t dilapidated or bombed were absolutely stunning. The architecture in all of these countries is truly brilliant and artistic. In Serbia, much like Croatia & Budapest, flower boxes hang from nearly every window. They incorporate life into everything they possibly can. Be it in their use of colors, or flowers, or even monuments remembering those who lost their lives so they could live. They cherish life! They recognize what they’ve lost and how much farther they have yet to go, but they cherish where they are. How far they have come. They do not see only bad in their history, and they believe in only good for their future. We could, and should, learn SO MUCH from them.

After a hot 4 hour tour, me and Gram cherished the moments we spent sitting in a shaded area with a breeze SO much. Our ability to find the good in everything is truly increasing, and our motto throughout the trip has become “optimism over pessimism.” Me and Gram have almost always had very open and honest conversations, but just like our relationship, this trip has thickened our conversations even more. We were always friends, but even that increases with everyday, and I am SO very grateful for that. Sharing these experiences is something we will share LONG after this trip comes to an end. The memories and moments will live on forever, and we leave this experience as even better friends.
We returned from the tour very exhausted and quickly questioned if we wanted to still do the tour we had also signed ourselves up for in the afternoon. Taking a nap sounded SO wonderful, but I knew I would regret not going, so I decided to go anyways.

The tour was to a violin maker’s house, and then to a “Naive Art” museum. We had an hour drive each way, so I took a nap while listing to Steffany Gretzinger’s “The Undoing”, which is and always will be one of the best musical foods for my soul ever. If you have never listened to it, I HIGHLY recommend it. The ride, and my nap, flew by and within what felt like 30 seconds, we and arrived at the violin maker’s house (his name is beautiful, but impossible to pronounce or spell, so I will call him Jeff) The house was simply adorable, as there were several features of the house, including the plaque that held his house number, was shaped like a violin. His garden featured some of the brightest red & hello flowers my eyes had ever seen, and everything about the entrance to his home screamed “welcome”. Jeff spoke no english, so our tour guide translated everything. Even with our language barriers, he was one of the friendliest people ever and he was SO interactive. His shop was filled with violins of all different sizes, colors, and embellishments. He showed us every step of the process, from the begging blocks of wood that he had cut down specifically for his future violins back in 1979, giving the wood over 20 years to dry. It was amazing to see how tiny his tools were so that everything could be so precise. The thickest part of the violin is “perfect” to him when it is 1.9 milliliters thick. He talked to us about how thinning different parts and creating different curves cause the wood to have a perfect G tone. It was incredible!! He even played for us on a violin that was from 1690 that had been passed down to him. My music nerd heart was in heaven. We all laughed and stood in awe of his creations, he even spoke of how God had blessed him with his passion for it. We all enjoyed it so much, we stayed an hour past when we were technically supposed to. We all said our goodbyes and thank yous, and hopped back on the bus for short ride to the museum.

Also, before I forget, there have been millions of sunflowers in Serbia too! So far I have seen them in Kalocsa, Croatia, and Serbia, and every time my heart rejoices in their happy colors.

We arrived at the museum which specifically featured two Naive artists, Matrin Paluska & Jan Soko.

Jan Soko incorporated so much life and color into her works, you couldn’t admire them without smiling. Her portraits spoke of life and appreciation for the beautiful world we inhabit. She spent most of her career using 90% of the money she made from her works funding children’s hospitals & orphanages. Her love for humanity, helping others, and the power of coming together was showcased in each of her pieces, as she never painted a painting with just one person in it.

Martin Paluska showcased his unique outlook of the world and humanity by painting and drawing every person in his pictures with huge hands & feet, but tint heads. It’s said that he told others he did this because when he was a little child, he would sneak under the table when the adults were sitting around it to listen in on their conversations and the only thing he could see was their big hands and feet, and that their heads looked so far away. He also did this to show how powerful actions are (the hands and feet representing actions, and the tiny heads representing thoughts or words) a.k.a. , the ultimate inspiration for the phrase “actions speak louder than words.”

Both of the artists and their works were deeply inspiring, not because they wanted or strived to be, but because they simply were/are.

As if the experience wasn’t beautiful enough, I spent the hour ride home watching the most beautiful things on my phone: videos of my family. It was so good to hear their laughter and watch their smiles. I had videos from a little less than a year ago and it brought tears to my eyes realize how much they’ve grown, but more than that, to witness how amazing they are. Though it made me miss them, I was the farthest thing from sad, more, I was overjoyed that I will see them in a week.
So, to sum everything up, rejoice in all that you have. Spread your heart and art everywhere you go because it will inspire someone. Accept the losses of your past, but don’t forget to embrace the gains. Rejoice in the progress you have made, but even more in the progress you will make. Savor every moment of every day. Step into your purpose, and you will change lives, the future, and the world.
Hope you are feeling as inspired by these places, people, and stories as I am.
All my love,
Ash

Hello from Croatia!

Hello my wonderful family and friends! Happy day 30!! One more day of this month, I simply cannot believe how fast it went!! I pray that this post finds you in love with life and the people you’ve surrounded yourself with!

Me and Gram are feeling so blessed to be on this adventure with so many lovely people. Just so genuinely kind and just as thrilled as you are to be where you are!
Today we spent 4.5 hours off the boat, visiting the cities of Vulkovar & Osijek.
Throughout both cities, stories of impact from their last war still ring through the people’s ears. It was crazy to realize that they only finished the last war in 1997 (my birth year) and have spent the years since then restoring and attempting to heal as best they can. It was inspiring to hear how capable they were of talking about the people who attacked them, some of them were residents of the city that attacked it from the inside out, without saying anything rude or resentful about them. Their ability to continue to live alongside people who betrayed them spoke deeply of the kind of people they are. Stronger than any grudge. Capable of forgiving, but not forgetting, so that the same mistakes may never be made again.
It spoke deep in my heart. Made me realize some pockets of resent I’ve continued to carry that I needed to let go. Made me grateful even more for coming here because it inspired me so much! If these people, who were completely betrayed and abandoned by people they considered friends, neighbors, even family members, and move on from it peacefully, I have absolutely no reason or excuse to not do the same.
Despite insane tax rates (between income & VAT, the employed are taxed 65%) and the unemployment rate, which if I remember correctly was about 30%, these cities were thriving. They restore every building, monument/memorial, and every part of the city to look exactly like it did before being destroyed, even keeping the original cobblestone.
Just like Budapest & Kalocsa, the buildings were almost all beautiful colors, and pink or red flowers hung from every single window. The colors are stunning and breath taking, and pictures simply do not do the colors or architecture justice (but we all take a million photos anyways!)
We walked through one of the churches in town, and the amount of gold colors that filled the church was AMAZING. It was SO decorated, I mean you couldn’t find a single plain inch of the place. Between amazing statues and artifacts from the 14th century, it was unbelievable.
We were serenaded by a short Lute concert, played by a student from the local college, and between here beautiful tone & the church’s acoustics, it was heavenly.
We stopped to grab some souvenirs (we wouldn’t be tacky American tourists if we didn’t!) an hopped back on to the bus for our next location!
The next part of the excursion were house visits into the homes of some locals. Me and Gram were apart of the group that stopped in the loveliest bed & breakfast a little out of the way of the city.
The homeowner was very welcoming and had a great sense of humor! Our whole group seemed to, as we laughed 95% of the visit. We all got a long so well, that we spent 40 minutes of the 50 minutes we were going to be there just talking and laughing and asking questions!
In between questions and conversations, he gave us some delicious, homemade marble cake and & Elder Flower water which tasted to me what I imagine humming bird food tastes like to them. Very floral & sweet! Then came the hard stuff. He passed around shot glasses of Croatia’s “welcome” drink, Plum Brandy.
It burned the ENTIRE way down. It was like drinking drain cleaner and MY OH MY did everyone’s breaths smell like they’d been drinking for hours!
After burning our esophaguses, he gave us a tour of his garden.
It was HUGE. It felt like it just kept going on and on, in the best way possible! The brightest pink and purple flowers your eyes have ever seen! And tall and happy sunflowers intertwined through out, as if they were hugging everything together.
The last 10 minutes of our time flew by, and soon we were saying “Bok” & Hvala  (goodbye & thank you)i

We came home (back to the ship) and had lunch, followed by 2 hours of napping. Then I walked into the lounge in time for the last song of a Croatian music concert they were having. The energy of the room was so happy and exciting!! The smiles on everyone’s faces were contagious!

The rest of the night was spent with our usual group, talking, laughing, and eating the night away!

I end this post with one last thing.

Travel. As much as you can. As far as you can. Don’t wait. Traveling is not just getting souvenirs or pictures, it’s about embracing culture, finding yourself, and falling love with the world. It’s meeting kind people and being completely inspired by them. It’s realizing there is so much more to history then the little slice we learn in schools. There is simply nothing like it, and it is the best addiction you could possibly have.

So start up that change jar.

Put away those tax returns.

Sign yourself up for the best history lesson by GOING to the places and being told their history while you’re there.

Not next year. Not next month.

Now.

All my love,
Ash

Hello from Kalocsa!

Hello my lovely friends and family! Happy day 29!! (I realized after I wrote my post yesterday that I had typed day 29 instead of 28, so please forgive me!

As I write this, it is 9:39 pm here on the boat, and we are in transit to Osijek, Croatia!
It is nearly impossible to fall asleep when you know that in the morning, you will arrive at yet another breath taking country. It is truly like the best Christmas morning EVER, every single day!

Today was a bit more of a relaxed day, as we only spent about 4 hours off of the boat, but none the less, the sights were enthralling and the people were sweet as candy.
We started off the day with the breakfast buffet here on the boat and it was DIVINE! Anything breakfast that your heart desires, they have, and the smell of heaven being cooked/baked nearby just fills the room as you walk in.
Me and Gram grabbed some grub, and sat down at a long empty table.
One thing I absolutely adore about this cruise is how friendly and welcoming people are. Within about 2 minutes after sitting down, our table was full of some familiar and new faces. It’s wonderful!

Our little “group” of usuals that I’ll mention quite often over the next few days are: a Son & Mother named Robert & Shannon. Robert is my age and we hit it off instantly! Both of them are super genuine and kind. Shannon has almost the same sense of humor as Gram so we all laugh very often! And then it’s another Son & Mother named Mark & Linda, the son in his Mid-40s and the mother Mid-60s, both very funny and kind!
Both sets of friends joined us at breakfast, but we also met two new faces today!
Both of them were younger men, one named Remington (16 years old) and another named Mcallister (I hope that’s how his name is spelled & I am not sure of his age, but he’s a couple years older than I, so early 20s)
Mcallister sat next to me at first and his brother joined us eventually. Both brothers are rather timid, but me and Mcallister had several things in common and hit it off! I am so thrilled to have people my age here! Mcallister has traveled a lot since his Sophomore year of highschool and he was more than willing to share his stories.
An hour and half passed so quick with our lovely group, and it was time for our excursion.
Today’s excursion was into the town of Kalocsa (pronounced Ka-Lo-Cha) Hungary. We had a tour guide with a wonderful personality and sense of humor, his name was Mate (accent over the E, sounds like “Marty” without a harsh R.) It was only about a 15 minute drive, which was filled with passing fields of millions upon millions of sunflowers. (I was in heaven) Between the beautiful flowers, homes, and stories Mate shared, the 15 minute ride blew by!
We got off the bus and right away you noticed a pattern throughout the city. Every building and house was a shade of yellow. They didn’t call it “the Yellow City” but I will call it that for the rest of my life. There was just a joyous feeling the city gave off between the happy colors around every corner and the friendly people.
We piled into a small church in the square and were serenaded by a short organ concert (my music geek heart is in love with this trip between the Organ played by Franz Liszt in 1859 yesterday at the Jewish Synagogue, and the organ concert today, and there is even more music features you’ll hear me gush about through out the rest of the trip!!!!!!!)
After the concert, we walked through the town a little longer, taking more pictures, hearing more stories, it was quickly time for the next activity!
We boarded the bus and headed off to the Bakodpuszta Equestrian Center. As soon as we got off, we were offered a piece of bread with “Curly Hair Pig” lard and Paprika on it. Sticking to our “try everything once” policy, we both took some, a little hesitantly. Quite honestly it was scarier sounding than it tasted as it really didn’t taste like much at all!
We then watched an acrobatic horse show and walked through a very small but charming souvenir market. Before the end of the tour, we were offered some of Hungarian’s most prized drink, Apricot Brandy.
It burned the whole way down our throats. Like the most horrific medicine you could ever taste. HOLY PURE ALCOHOL.
We boarded the bus, headed home, had a boat safety meeting, a “face check” (in order to leave the Hungarian boarder, we had to go through a group of Hungarian officials who checked to make sure our faces matched our passport pictures), and then took about a 2 hour nap.
By that point it was 4:30 and we really just spent the rest of the day reading/journal-ing, or eating and spending time with our usual group. It was relaxing and oh so wonderful.

The day had the most perfect conclusion as the sunset painted the sky with the richest pinks & orangish reds that you could see no matter what direction you were facing.

Once again, I am reminded how amazingly creative God is.
How faithful He is.
Me and Gram are both safe, and having the times of our lives going across the world and witnessing some more of His masterpieces throughout Europe. It makes us hungry for more! It is such an honor to share such a spectacular time with my Gram, I couldn’t possibly be having any more of a wonderful time!

I want to see as much of this earth as I can while I’m here. I want to cherish God’s beautiful works! Be it European countries, or people we meet along the way.
May our eyes be open to the adventures that await us. Be it across the country, or right outside our doors. There is SO much to see, even around where you are sitting right now. Beautiful places, and extremely wonderful people.

It is my prayer that no matter where you are, or where you go, that you would see the beauty we miss when we focus on the things we “don’t see”, or the things we think we need/want to see.

So let’s explore.
God didn’t make us to stay in one place.

All my love,
Ash

The Kindness of Strangers

Hello my friends and family! Happy day 29! I just want to take a moment to say that this journey is not one that is only affecting my present. It is birthing bigger dreams for the future. It is teaching me to cherish my past and to realize that I cannot hold onto the hurts I’ve felt, but only to the hope I found in the midst of it. I am reminded of how important it is to cherish the place and time of age we are in because it is FOR A REASON.

Today I was reminded how powerful a single person can be. I discovered the beautiful chain of reactions that kindness offers and how worth it it is to help those around us. To stop dreaming of another time and stepping into the time and place I am in. Because there is need out there, and us looking at another time means we are missing it. We are missing opportunity to be friendly strangers. The story I experienced today is one I will truly never forget, and one I will tell often because it impacted me. But I’ll get to that in a second…

Let me first summarize the day:

This morning at 7:30 am, me and Gram woke up, threw our stuff into our suitcases, and went downstairs for breakfast at the amazing breakfast buffet I gushed about yesterday. Just to give a little perspective of how charming this place was, it was called “Paris Budapest” and as you walked in, the first thing you heard was “bonjour!” Amongst a million different breakfast options, ranging from coco puffs, to the amazing “cookie) waffles (which of course I had again today), to pancakes, to individually customized omelets, to hashbrowns, they also had at least 5 feet of fancy cheeses and smoked salmons and trouts, and any kind of fruit chutney you could dream up. They didn’t just have syrup from a bottle, they had a million flavored syrups that they MADE. The eating are had beautiful shades of pink and reds everywhere and it felt like you were sitting in the most beautiful flower. As if it couldn’t get any better, they made the most amazing cappuccinos with that PERFECT instagram worthy foam on the top AND everyone was just so friendly and helpful. Me and Gram ate like queens and laughed and smiled the hour away! I will never forget it!

I am so grateful to be here with her. Her willingness to try everything once is contagious and her ease of making friends everywhere she goes inspires me always to do the same! There is not a single moment where we are aren’t laughing or smiling. We simply have the perfect balance of personalities! She is one of my best friends,and I don’t think she will ever understand how grateful I am to have her in my life.

After breakfast, we walked back up to our lovely hotel room to say goodbye (and also to grab as many free toiletries as possible, who am I kidding. They are scented “Orange Ginger” and they smell like citrus and fall and I LOVE them.) We then rode the elevator down to the bottom floor to meet our tour group for the Jewish Synagogue & Jewish Quarters tour we had selected.

Our tour guide’s name was Gregory. He was very kind and had an EPIC beard. It was amazing how much knowledge he had, and how he could answer any question you could possibly have!

Oh my goodness. The synagogue was HUGE. The second largest one IN THE WORLD (they told us the largest one is actually in New York which I never knew and MUST go visit ASAP.) But aside from being huge, it was absolutely gorgeous. From the outside, the stonework and colors they incorporated everywhere made you SO excited to see what the inside looked like. Every stain glass window incorporated the most beautiful cobalt blue and mustard gold and the Star of David was everywhere it could possibly be. The energy inside it was contagious as you felt the breaths of everyone in the room leave them. I felt so alive. So in awe. Me and Gram couldn’t say the word “beautiful” enough times (that seems to be a theme of this country.) We had the most lovely woman as our tour guide for the synagogue (for the life of me, I cannot remember her beautiful name, but I remember it was something I had never heard of before) and she had such a lovely perspective of everything she said. She shared the information and history of her religion as if it was the most beautiful story you’ve ever heard. She made every part seem important, you wanted to hear every single word that left her mouth.

She taught me SO much about the Jewish religion that I’ve never known. She emphasized certain parts of it and explained why they were so important. She was specific and told everything to you as if she couldn’t say enough good things about it.

She talked of the horrible sadness World War II brought to the Hungarian Jews. She shared heartbreaking numbers of innocent lives that were stolen out of hate.

She talked about how they healed after that. How they clung to their religion through out the entire time and how special it was, and is to them.

She shared the stories behind all the details throughout the building. My favorite being the 4,000-5,000 pipe organ incorporated into the back wall. My heart shot out of my chest, almost as quickly as my gasp did when she told us that the first person to ever play the Organ was Franz Liszt in 1859 for the building’s very first service (THE MUSIC NERD WITHIN ME DIED A LITTLE.)

We walked through the memorial garden and felt the presence of emotion everywhere. In the middle of it all, there was a huge silver statue of a weeping willow, and in-scripted on the leaves upon each branch was a name of a Jew who passed away, either at Auschwitz, or in the ghetto that that German had turned the area surrounding the synagogue into. Over 600,000 Hungarian Jews were killed.

In another corner of the garden, there were plaques with the names of people who saved many Jews’ lives. Some examples being Raoul Wallenberg and Sir Nicholas Winton.

People who saw help was needed, and stepped up.

People who wanted to help strangers no matter who they were.

Sir Nicholas Winton saved 669 Jewish children. Today, after those children grew up and had their own children, who then had their own children, and so on, the total lives that have been produced out of his willingness to help is 15,000 lives. Lives that wouldn’t have been possible without him.

And it was 50 years after he did so before anyone ever knew about it. The only reason people know about it today is because his wife found his records of the names of all the children he saved and brought them and him together to meet after all those years.

For him, it wasn’t about the attention or acknowledgment. It wasn’t about reward or recognition. He saw where help was needed and stepped up. He impacted those 15,000 lives, and impacts everyone who learns of his story because he showed how powerful 1 persons’ kindness and willingness to help and to change the world is!!

This was a theme today.

Going backwards a little bit, you have to know that almost the entire day, it was raining/pouring. Me and Gram didn’t have an umbrella, but we also didn’t mind getting wet, however, one of the men on the tour kindly offered us his umbrella.
At first, we said no and continued on our way, but he continued to offer it periodically. After a few minutes, he insisted we take it as “his conscience wouldn’t allow him to have it when we were in need.” So we accepted and moments later, it started pouring. As we walked along and remained dry, he grew wetter and wetter. Only until another woman on the tour offered him her umbrella as she had a rain coat and was more than willing to share! Notice the chain reaction. For him, it didn’t matter if he got wet. He saw a need, and wanted to help. Felt compelled to help.

Now, I understand that this is a different kind of situation, and a different kind of help, but the message it spreads is clear.

Kindness is contagious.

People WANT to help.

People +Kindness + Willingness to Help = impact.

Me and Gram declared today’s blog title to be “The Kindness of Strangers at about 1 o’clock this afternoon because it was everywhere. And it was contagious.

It opened my eyes. It made me realize that there is no help to big or too small. It showed us how one simple act of kindness starts a chain reaction. It forced me to recognize that instead of searching for a big way to cause change in the world, or waiting for bigger opportunities, it is time to open my eyes to all the ones around me.

I’m talking everything from offering to take a picture for a stranger, to holding the door. I am talking offering an umbrella, to risking our lives to save others. There is no act too small. Everything has an impact!

Don’t do it for you.

Don’t do it for benefit or reward.

Do it because you would want someone to do the same for you. SPREAD LOVE EVERYWHERE. LOOK FOR WAYS TO HELP. KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS AND POWERFUL.

It saves lives.

And that was all before 2 pm!! I am telling you, there is something magical about this place that just changes you. The culture is inspiring, these people BREATH helping each other and recognize how much stronger people are when they come together to bring change. It is a HUGE part of their history.

We boarded a bus after a coffee/cake break similar to yesterday’s and headed to board the ship!

It was docked right beside the “Bridge of Chains’ which is just as unique and beautiful as it sounds. We unpacked and could hardly contain our excitement. The boat is beautiful, but the energy on it is addictive. Everyone is so kind and interested in your story and sharing their own. No one is a stranger here.

After a lovely hour and a half of meeting some new friends on the ship, we had an amazing dinner and met even more lovely, adventurous people that had amazing stories!

Me and Gram ended the night by sitting up on deck, admiring the amazing sight of the city at night. Every historical building (which is most of them here) is lit up at night, including the bridge, and there are simply no words to describe the bright and bubbly sight this is. It’s almost as if the city is sprinkled in pixie dust. We talked of the amazing things we saw and learned about and how it all has changed us in ways we never imagined a city could.

I am addicted to this city.

I am addicted to experiencing new.

I am inspired to be opened eyed to all opportunities.

I am arms and mind wide open to be change in the world.

I am blown away by God’s presence all around.

I am tingly inside with excitement to see even more of His creations tomorrow.

I have a new perspective of change. Of what it can mean and how beautiful it can be. I am determined to be beautiful change in the world. Excited to spend everyday from now on as a servant of The Lord, helping everywhere and loving others as much as possible. It is my favorite journey, and I owe the inspiration to embark on it to God and the beautiful Budapest He’s made.

I am ready to be a friendly stranger everyday, 24/7, 365 days a year.

Are you?

All my love,

Ash