Hello from Croatia!

Hello my wonderful family and friends! Happy day 30!! One more day of this month, I simply cannot believe how fast it went!! I pray that this post finds you in love with life and the people you’ve surrounded yourself with!

Me and Gram are feeling so blessed to be on this adventure with so many lovely people. Just so genuinely kind and just as thrilled as you are to be where you are!
Today we spent 4.5 hours off the boat, visiting the cities of Vulkovar & Osijek.
Throughout both cities, stories of impact from their last war still ring through the people’s ears. It was crazy to realize that they only finished the last war in 1997 (my birth year) and have spent the years since then restoring and attempting to heal as best they can. It was inspiring to hear how capable they were of talking about the people who attacked them, some of them were residents of the city that attacked it from the inside out, without saying anything rude or resentful about them. Their ability to continue to live alongside people who betrayed them spoke deeply of the kind of people they are. Stronger than any grudge. Capable of forgiving, but not forgetting, so that the same mistakes may never be made again.
It spoke deep in my heart. Made me realize some pockets of resent I’ve continued to carry that I needed to let go. Made me grateful even more for coming here because it inspired me so much! If these people, who were completely betrayed and abandoned by people they considered friends, neighbors, even family members, and move on from it peacefully, I have absolutely no reason or excuse to not do the same.
Despite insane tax rates (between income & VAT, the employed are taxed 65%) and the unemployment rate, which if I remember correctly was about 30%, these cities were thriving. They restore every building, monument/memorial, and every part of the city to look exactly like it did before being destroyed, even keeping the original cobblestone.
Just like Budapest & Kalocsa, the buildings were almost all beautiful colors, and pink or red flowers hung from every single window. The colors are stunning and breath taking, and pictures simply do not do the colors or architecture justice (but we all take a million photos anyways!)
We walked through one of the churches in town, and the amount of gold colors that filled the church was AMAZING. It was SO decorated, I mean you couldn’t find a single plain inch of the place. Between amazing statues and artifacts from the 14th century, it was unbelievable.
We were serenaded by a short Lute concert, played by a student from the local college, and between here beautiful tone & the church’s acoustics, it was heavenly.
We stopped to grab some souvenirs (we wouldn’t be tacky American tourists if we didn’t!) an hopped back on to the bus for our next location!
The next part of the excursion were house visits into the homes of some locals. Me and Gram were apart of the group that stopped in the loveliest bed & breakfast a little out of the way of the city.
The homeowner was very welcoming and had a great sense of humor! Our whole group seemed to, as we laughed 95% of the visit. We all got a long so well, that we spent 40 minutes of the 50 minutes we were going to be there just talking and laughing and asking questions!
In between questions and conversations, he gave us some delicious, homemade marble cake and & Elder Flower water which tasted to me what I imagine humming bird food tastes like to them. Very floral & sweet! Then came the hard stuff. He passed around shot glasses of Croatia’s “welcome” drink, Plum Brandy.
It burned the ENTIRE way down. It was like drinking drain cleaner and MY OH MY did everyone’s breaths smell like they’d been drinking for hours!
After burning our esophaguses, he gave us a tour of his garden.
It was HUGE. It felt like it just kept going on and on, in the best way possible! The brightest pink and purple flowers your eyes have ever seen! And tall and happy sunflowers intertwined through out, as if they were hugging everything together.
The last 10 minutes of our time flew by, and soon we were saying “Bok” & Hvala  (goodbye & thank you)i

We came home (back to the ship) and had lunch, followed by 2 hours of napping. Then I walked into the lounge in time for the last song of a Croatian music concert they were having. The energy of the room was so happy and exciting!! The smiles on everyone’s faces were contagious!

The rest of the night was spent with our usual group, talking, laughing, and eating the night away!

I end this post with one last thing.

Travel. As much as you can. As far as you can. Don’t wait. Traveling is not just getting souvenirs or pictures, it’s about embracing culture, finding yourself, and falling love with the world. It’s meeting kind people and being completely inspired by them. It’s realizing there is so much more to history then the little slice we learn in schools. There is simply nothing like it, and it is the best addiction you could possibly have.

So start up that change jar.

Put away those tax returns.

Sign yourself up for the best history lesson by GOING to the places and being told their history while you’re there.

Not next year. Not next month.

Now.

All my love,
Ash

Hello from Kalocsa!

Hello my lovely friends and family! Happy day 29!! (I realized after I wrote my post yesterday that I had typed day 29 instead of 28, so please forgive me!

As I write this, it is 9:39 pm here on the boat, and we are in transit to Osijek, Croatia!
It is nearly impossible to fall asleep when you know that in the morning, you will arrive at yet another breath taking country. It is truly like the best Christmas morning EVER, every single day!

Today was a bit more of a relaxed day, as we only spent about 4 hours off of the boat, but none the less, the sights were enthralling and the people were sweet as candy.
We started off the day with the breakfast buffet here on the boat and it was DIVINE! Anything breakfast that your heart desires, they have, and the smell of heaven being cooked/baked nearby just fills the room as you walk in.
Me and Gram grabbed some grub, and sat down at a long empty table.
One thing I absolutely adore about this cruise is how friendly and welcoming people are. Within about 2 minutes after sitting down, our table was full of some familiar and new faces. It’s wonderful!

Our little “group” of usuals that I’ll mention quite often over the next few days are: a Son & Mother named Robert & Shannon. Robert is my age and we hit it off instantly! Both of them are super genuine and kind. Shannon has almost the same sense of humor as Gram so we all laugh very often! And then it’s another Son & Mother named Mark & Linda, the son in his Mid-40s and the mother Mid-60s, both very funny and kind!
Both sets of friends joined us at breakfast, but we also met two new faces today!
Both of them were younger men, one named Remington (16 years old) and another named Mcallister (I hope that’s how his name is spelled & I am not sure of his age, but he’s a couple years older than I, so early 20s)
Mcallister sat next to me at first and his brother joined us eventually. Both brothers are rather timid, but me and Mcallister had several things in common and hit it off! I am so thrilled to have people my age here! Mcallister has traveled a lot since his Sophomore year of highschool and he was more than willing to share his stories.
An hour and half passed so quick with our lovely group, and it was time for our excursion.
Today’s excursion was into the town of Kalocsa (pronounced Ka-Lo-Cha) Hungary. We had a tour guide with a wonderful personality and sense of humor, his name was Mate (accent over the E, sounds like “Marty” without a harsh R.) It was only about a 15 minute drive, which was filled with passing fields of millions upon millions of sunflowers. (I was in heaven) Between the beautiful flowers, homes, and stories Mate shared, the 15 minute ride blew by!
We got off the bus and right away you noticed a pattern throughout the city. Every building and house was a shade of yellow. They didn’t call it “the Yellow City” but I will call it that for the rest of my life. There was just a joyous feeling the city gave off between the happy colors around every corner and the friendly people.
We piled into a small church in the square and were serenaded by a short organ concert (my music geek heart is in love with this trip between the Organ played by Franz Liszt in 1859 yesterday at the Jewish Synagogue, and the organ concert today, and there is even more music features you’ll hear me gush about through out the rest of the trip!!!!!!!)
After the concert, we walked through the town a little longer, taking more pictures, hearing more stories, it was quickly time for the next activity!
We boarded the bus and headed off to the Bakodpuszta Equestrian Center. As soon as we got off, we were offered a piece of bread with “Curly Hair Pig” lard and Paprika on it. Sticking to our “try everything once” policy, we both took some, a little hesitantly. Quite honestly it was scarier sounding than it tasted as it really didn’t taste like much at all!
We then watched an acrobatic horse show and walked through a very small but charming souvenir market. Before the end of the tour, we were offered some of Hungarian’s most prized drink, Apricot Brandy.
It burned the whole way down our throats. Like the most horrific medicine you could ever taste. HOLY PURE ALCOHOL.
We boarded the bus, headed home, had a boat safety meeting, a “face check” (in order to leave the Hungarian boarder, we had to go through a group of Hungarian officials who checked to make sure our faces matched our passport pictures), and then took about a 2 hour nap.
By that point it was 4:30 and we really just spent the rest of the day reading/journal-ing, or eating and spending time with our usual group. It was relaxing and oh so wonderful.

The day had the most perfect conclusion as the sunset painted the sky with the richest pinks & orangish reds that you could see no matter what direction you were facing.

Once again, I am reminded how amazingly creative God is.
How faithful He is.
Me and Gram are both safe, and having the times of our lives going across the world and witnessing some more of His masterpieces throughout Europe. It makes us hungry for more! It is such an honor to share such a spectacular time with my Gram, I couldn’t possibly be having any more of a wonderful time!

I want to see as much of this earth as I can while I’m here. I want to cherish God’s beautiful works! Be it European countries, or people we meet along the way.
May our eyes be open to the adventures that await us. Be it across the country, or right outside our doors. There is SO much to see, even around where you are sitting right now. Beautiful places, and extremely wonderful people.

It is my prayer that no matter where you are, or where you go, that you would see the beauty we miss when we focus on the things we “don’t see”, or the things we think we need/want to see.

So let’s explore.
God didn’t make us to stay in one place.

All my love,
Ash

The Kindness of Strangers

Hello my friends and family! Happy day 29! I just want to take a moment to say that this journey is not one that is only affecting my present. It is birthing bigger dreams for the future. It is teaching me to cherish my past and to realize that I cannot hold onto the hurts I’ve felt, but only to the hope I found in the midst of it. I am reminded of how important it is to cherish the place and time of age we are in because it is FOR A REASON.

Today I was reminded how powerful a single person can be. I discovered the beautiful chain of reactions that kindness offers and how worth it it is to help those around us. To stop dreaming of another time and stepping into the time and place I am in. Because there is need out there, and us looking at another time means we are missing it. We are missing opportunity to be friendly strangers. The story I experienced today is one I will truly never forget, and one I will tell often because it impacted me. But I’ll get to that in a second…

Let me first summarize the day:

This morning at 7:30 am, me and Gram woke up, threw our stuff into our suitcases, and went downstairs for breakfast at the amazing breakfast buffet I gushed about yesterday. Just to give a little perspective of how charming this place was, it was called “Paris Budapest” and as you walked in, the first thing you heard was “bonjour!” Amongst a million different breakfast options, ranging from coco puffs, to the amazing “cookie) waffles (which of course I had again today), to pancakes, to individually customized omelets, to hashbrowns, they also had at least 5 feet of fancy cheeses and smoked salmons and trouts, and any kind of fruit chutney you could dream up. They didn’t just have syrup from a bottle, they had a million flavored syrups that they MADE. The eating are had beautiful shades of pink and reds everywhere and it felt like you were sitting in the most beautiful flower. As if it couldn’t get any better, they made the most amazing cappuccinos with that PERFECT instagram worthy foam on the top AND everyone was just so friendly and helpful. Me and Gram ate like queens and laughed and smiled the hour away! I will never forget it!

I am so grateful to be here with her. Her willingness to try everything once is contagious and her ease of making friends everywhere she goes inspires me always to do the same! There is not a single moment where we are aren’t laughing or smiling. We simply have the perfect balance of personalities! She is one of my best friends,and I don’t think she will ever understand how grateful I am to have her in my life.

After breakfast, we walked back up to our lovely hotel room to say goodbye (and also to grab as many free toiletries as possible, who am I kidding. They are scented “Orange Ginger” and they smell like citrus and fall and I LOVE them.) We then rode the elevator down to the bottom floor to meet our tour group for the Jewish Synagogue & Jewish Quarters tour we had selected.

Our tour guide’s name was Gregory. He was very kind and had an EPIC beard. It was amazing how much knowledge he had, and how he could answer any question you could possibly have!

Oh my goodness. The synagogue was HUGE. The second largest one IN THE WORLD (they told us the largest one is actually in New York which I never knew and MUST go visit ASAP.) But aside from being huge, it was absolutely gorgeous. From the outside, the stonework and colors they incorporated everywhere made you SO excited to see what the inside looked like. Every stain glass window incorporated the most beautiful cobalt blue and mustard gold and the Star of David was everywhere it could possibly be. The energy inside it was contagious as you felt the breaths of everyone in the room leave them. I felt so alive. So in awe. Me and Gram couldn’t say the word “beautiful” enough times (that seems to be a theme of this country.) We had the most lovely woman as our tour guide for the synagogue (for the life of me, I cannot remember her beautiful name, but I remember it was something I had never heard of before) and she had such a lovely perspective of everything she said. She shared the information and history of her religion as if it was the most beautiful story you’ve ever heard. She made every part seem important, you wanted to hear every single word that left her mouth.

She taught me SO much about the Jewish religion that I’ve never known. She emphasized certain parts of it and explained why they were so important. She was specific and told everything to you as if she couldn’t say enough good things about it.

She talked of the horrible sadness World War II brought to the Hungarian Jews. She shared heartbreaking numbers of innocent lives that were stolen out of hate.

She talked about how they healed after that. How they clung to their religion through out the entire time and how special it was, and is to them.

She shared the stories behind all the details throughout the building. My favorite being the 4,000-5,000 pipe organ incorporated into the back wall. My heart shot out of my chest, almost as quickly as my gasp did when she told us that the first person to ever play the Organ was Franz Liszt in 1859 for the building’s very first service (THE MUSIC NERD WITHIN ME DIED A LITTLE.)

We walked through the memorial garden and felt the presence of emotion everywhere. In the middle of it all, there was a huge silver statue of a weeping willow, and in-scripted on the leaves upon each branch was a name of a Jew who passed away, either at Auschwitz, or in the ghetto that that German had turned the area surrounding the synagogue into. Over 600,000 Hungarian Jews were killed.

In another corner of the garden, there were plaques with the names of people who saved many Jews’ lives. Some examples being Raoul Wallenberg and Sir Nicholas Winton.

People who saw help was needed, and stepped up.

People who wanted to help strangers no matter who they were.

Sir Nicholas Winton saved 669 Jewish children. Today, after those children grew up and had their own children, who then had their own children, and so on, the total lives that have been produced out of his willingness to help is 15,000 lives. Lives that wouldn’t have been possible without him.

And it was 50 years after he did so before anyone ever knew about it. The only reason people know about it today is because his wife found his records of the names of all the children he saved and brought them and him together to meet after all those years.

For him, it wasn’t about the attention or acknowledgment. It wasn’t about reward or recognition. He saw where help was needed and stepped up. He impacted those 15,000 lives, and impacts everyone who learns of his story because he showed how powerful 1 persons’ kindness and willingness to help and to change the world is!!

This was a theme today.

Going backwards a little bit, you have to know that almost the entire day, it was raining/pouring. Me and Gram didn’t have an umbrella, but we also didn’t mind getting wet, however, one of the men on the tour kindly offered us his umbrella.
At first, we said no and continued on our way, but he continued to offer it periodically. After a few minutes, he insisted we take it as “his conscience wouldn’t allow him to have it when we were in need.” So we accepted and moments later, it started pouring. As we walked along and remained dry, he grew wetter and wetter. Only until another woman on the tour offered him her umbrella as she had a rain coat and was more than willing to share! Notice the chain reaction. For him, it didn’t matter if he got wet. He saw a need, and wanted to help. Felt compelled to help.

Now, I understand that this is a different kind of situation, and a different kind of help, but the message it spreads is clear.

Kindness is contagious.

People WANT to help.

People +Kindness + Willingness to Help = impact.

Me and Gram declared today’s blog title to be “The Kindness of Strangers at about 1 o’clock this afternoon because it was everywhere. And it was contagious.

It opened my eyes. It made me realize that there is no help to big or too small. It showed us how one simple act of kindness starts a chain reaction. It forced me to recognize that instead of searching for a big way to cause change in the world, or waiting for bigger opportunities, it is time to open my eyes to all the ones around me.

I’m talking everything from offering to take a picture for a stranger, to holding the door. I am talking offering an umbrella, to risking our lives to save others. There is no act too small. Everything has an impact!

Don’t do it for you.

Don’t do it for benefit or reward.

Do it because you would want someone to do the same for you. SPREAD LOVE EVERYWHERE. LOOK FOR WAYS TO HELP. KINDNESS IS CONTAGIOUS AND POWERFUL.

It saves lives.

And that was all before 2 pm!! I am telling you, there is something magical about this place that just changes you. The culture is inspiring, these people BREATH helping each other and recognize how much stronger people are when they come together to bring change. It is a HUGE part of their history.

We boarded a bus after a coffee/cake break similar to yesterday’s and headed to board the ship!

It was docked right beside the “Bridge of Chains’ which is just as unique and beautiful as it sounds. We unpacked and could hardly contain our excitement. The boat is beautiful, but the energy on it is addictive. Everyone is so kind and interested in your story and sharing their own. No one is a stranger here.

After a lovely hour and a half of meeting some new friends on the ship, we had an amazing dinner and met even more lovely, adventurous people that had amazing stories!

Me and Gram ended the night by sitting up on deck, admiring the amazing sight of the city at night. Every historical building (which is most of them here) is lit up at night, including the bridge, and there are simply no words to describe the bright and bubbly sight this is. It’s almost as if the city is sprinkled in pixie dust. We talked of the amazing things we saw and learned about and how it all has changed us in ways we never imagined a city could.

I am addicted to this city.

I am addicted to experiencing new.

I am inspired to be opened eyed to all opportunities.

I am arms and mind wide open to be change in the world.

I am blown away by God’s presence all around.

I am tingly inside with excitement to see even more of His creations tomorrow.

I have a new perspective of change. Of what it can mean and how beautiful it can be. I am determined to be beautiful change in the world. Excited to spend everyday from now on as a servant of The Lord, helping everywhere and loving others as much as possible. It is my favorite journey, and I owe the inspiration to embark on it to God and the beautiful Budapest He’s made.

I am ready to be a friendly stranger everyday, 24/7, 365 days a year.

Are you?

All my love,

Ash

Hello from Budapest!

Hello my friends and family! Happy day 27!!
I know it had been several days since you last heard from me, but it has been a very hectic couple of days! I am writing this blog from Budapest! I couldn’t be any happier to say that!

I will be throughout Europe for the next 12 days, and wifi/american outlets are hard to come by, so my blog may not be updated daily, but I promise to try my best!

Let me share what the past 48 hours have looked like:
Yesterday, after missing one flight, multiple delayed flights, and a temporarily missing piece of luggage, we arrived in Budapest, Hungary at about 4 pm! And this I can promise you, all of that stress we experienced between the events listed above were quickly replaced with the gratitude and laughter our time in Budapest has filled our hearts with. The architecture is exquisite. The colors are bold and unforgettable. The amount of detail put into every single building often makes me think of the detail God put into each of us. There is just something about it that makes it individually special. You want to remember everything your eyes see, and attempt to take pictures of it, even though it’s no where near as beautiful as it is when your eyes witness it.

Being the legal age of drinking is so much fun, yet, it also makes me feel so much older. Not in a bad way for once, just makes me feel like I finally understand this huge piece of adulthood. It doesn’t get old no matter how many times you order a drink, it’s simply becoming a very enjoyable habit that I will miss when I am back in the states (I can feel my parents cringing as I type these words!)

Yesterday and today we had dinner at the same restaurant (that for the life of me, I cannot remember the name) but what we will always remember is how delicious the food is and how genuinely kind the staff is! I had my first Hungarian dish today, which was Beef Goulash, and let me tell you, Hungarians know good food! One of their specialties here is paprika and they find ways to incorporate it into EVERYTHING, including Brandy! This morning, me and Gram had breakfast at the hotel and it was incredible! From the truly freshly squeezed orange juice, to the waffles that tasted like fresh baked cookies, it was a morning meal I will never forget! And so beautifully presented that I had to desperately fight the American tourism within my heart that wanted to hold the line and take photos! (I snuck one anyways hehe) After breakfast, we embarked on our own little tour (a.k.a. we accidentally missed the provided one so we created our own and I just know ours was more fun!) We first exchanged some money into Forints (also known as Huffs) and grabbed a few beautiful postcards along the way! Then we walk along side the river to the shoe memorial. The memorial is in memory of the Hungarian Jews that were forced to take off their shoes because of their worth, and were shot and fell into the river. Between the children sized shoes, and the burning candles, the emotion was everywhere. Your heart aches for a tragedy that you wish you could’ve stopped. I feel that way often these days with the tragedies in the news. It filled my soul with a hunger to help more people, to cherish life, and to take NOTHING for granted. Next, we walked along a street called Jozeff Atilla, which had the most amazing cathedral I’ve ever seen at the end of it. Every single centimeter of this wonder took my breath away. There wasn’t a single place to look that wasn’t amazing! Nothing about it was usual or like anything any place else! It was stunning and the organ in it made the music nerd within me jump for joy!! As we walked along, we were serenaded by the people apart of a service that was occurring while us tourists gasped in amazement. Between the beautiful sights and the glorious music, I was in heaven.

Afterwards, we walked back to the hotel for our guided tour in a part of Budapest called Szentandre and OH MY WORD I couldn’t take enough pictures of this charming town!!!
It was filled to the brim with original artwork, art museums, and happy people! You could buy gelato shops, or cute coffee stops on almost every corner. It SCREAMED Ashlyn.
We had a tour of the Margit Kovacs museum. Margit Kovac was a 20th century artist who adored sculpting ceramics. They were captivating, and her intent and message behind each piece was memorable. It’s impossible to pick one favorite, but if I did, it would be her piece titled “live and dead headstones.” It was a flat piece of ceramic with a few intentionally placed painted headstones and woman mourners clothed in black. There was no description beside any of the pieces, which I feel she did intentionally because it let your mind wonder and create the pieces. In my head, this piece represented how just as headstones are placed in a graveyard in remembrance of people, we are living remembers of people. But, I feel it also represents how often when someone we love dies, we die. Not physically, but a part of our heart, or maybe even the whole heart feels dead. To me, it reminded me that when those we love pass away, it is a waste for us to let our happiness or desire to live die with them because they wouldn’t want us to feel that way. They want us to live and cherish it!
We had the most delicious chocolate cake after the museum that made me wish America baked like Hungary. And after a couple more hours of walking around and falling in love, we drove back to Budapest.

Now we are showered and cozy-ed up in our hotel, recounting and cherishing the memories and stories we gained today, and preparing our hearts for the ones we will create tomorrow.
Let me end with this.
God created a beautiful earth.
God created beautiful people.
God is here.
God is everywhere.
And this trip has turned my travel bug on ultra high. I want to see as much of the beautiful earth that God created as I possibly can because he put SO much detail in the world! He has placed so much beauty around us and we take it for granted too often and I refuse to do it anymore! There is too much beauty and love and joy to stay in one place. God doesn’t want that for us. He didn’t carefully create this earth or the purposes of our life for us to stay in one place.

So let’s explore!! My heart hungers for it!
Does yours?

What’s stopping you?
All my love,
Ash & God

Cleaning Up!

Happy day 20 my friends!! Hard to believe we are now 2/3 of the way finished with this month!! Also can’t believe I leave for Europe in 6 days AHH!!! Praying that this post finds you in awe of the beautiful earth we are blessed to live upon! 

As I write this post, I have just sat down after cleaning up some things around the house. It’s amazing to me how therapeutic cleaning can be sometimes, and how other times it’s the last thing I want to do. Nonetheless, it needs done. 

As I pick up item after item, I wonder why I waited this long to clean them up. Why didn’t I just pick it up right after it happened? Why did I allow these littles messes to pile up, forming one big mess? 

I can’t help but think the same for my heart. Why do I allow little things to build up inside and then have angry days, like yesterday, that could’ve been avoided? 

My friends, in our hearts, it’s important to find the messy feelings we carry around with us and let them go. It’s time to clean out our hearts. Ridding of the extra crap that we don’t need, and instead filling up and cherishing the good. It’s not healthy to allow our hurts and fears to build up inside! Instead, may we face each feeling right as they come, praying to the best problem solver we know, and letting them go right away! We were not made to carry these messy kinds of loads, only the beautiful. 

We see God telling us that when the bible says: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” – Matthew 11:28-29

God doesn’t tell us to come once we are “fixed”. Free of mess or burden. He says to come to Him weary and burdened and THAT is where healing is. That is where our messes are cleansed. Where O ur bitterness flees and where joy over flows from within! 

So today, tomorrow, and everyday, may we clean the physical messes around us BEFORE they pile up, and allow God to clean the messes we hold inside BEFORE the angry days. That we may be spending less time doing chores, and more time thriving in the joy of The Lord! 

Just a thought!

All my love, 

Ash

Today, I am angry.

Happy day 19 my loves! I pray that this post finds you at peace and in love with your life.

Today’s post is short, but honest, and one that I would normally be afraid to share.

You see, I’m angry. And on social media platforms, it’s frowned upon to be frowning.

People don’t often share the harsher parts of their life, using Instagram as an example, people tend to create a platform where their life looks perfect or exactly like they wish it was.

And in the moments behind the screen, the moments where you realize that your life is not all smiles and perfectly filtered, it can be infuriating.

We like to hide behind our perfect looking photos of our perfect looking lives. And it can be very hard to come out of hiding from that.

So here is me, coming out of hiding. Being open about the fact that some days, I am just angry. Upset. Confused. Worried.

But what’s important to remember is that being angry is okay! Being upset or worried is okay!! Heck,even God gets angry sometimes.

What’s important to remember is that we can’t stay there. We have to fight like heck to gain our happiness back and to forgive whatever made us angry in the first place.
If God didn’t do that, if He didn’t give second chance after second chance, and if He didn’t constantly forgive, the world would be a whole lot different.

We must give grace. Endless grace. To others, and ourselves.

Even when we don’t want to.

In fact, ESPECIALLY when we don’t want to.

Because God does, and He has way more that He could be angry about than we do.

So today although I am angry, I am choosing to be happy tomorrow.

I am channeling my inner rivers of grace, the ones God has filled me with, and choosing to wake up with a fresh start tomorrow. Because being angry SUCKS. I imagine that’s why God doesn’t choose to be angry often.

Let’s make the world a better place by choosing to give endless amounts of grace instead of grief.

All my love,

Ash

4 Take delight in the LORD, and he will give you the desires of your heart.

5 Commit your way to the LORD; trust in him and he will do this:

6 He will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.

7 Be still before the LORD and wait patiently for him; do not fret when people succeed in their ways, when they carry out their wicked schemes.

8 Refrain from anger and turn from wrath; do not fret—it leads only to evil.

9 For those who are evil will be destroyed, but those who hope in the LORD will inherit the land.

 – Psalm 37:4-14

The Power of Pondering

Happy day 16/17 my friends! Crazy to think that this month is already half way over! Praying that this post finds you grateful to be alive and excited for what tomorrow has to bring!

Today’s post is just a couple questions that I want us to ponder and I will elaborate more on it tomorrow, but I want you to take it into your heart and see where it resonates with you. All of our answers are going to be different, and that’s beautiful!

So here they are:

Where are you with God?

Where do you wanna be with God?

Where does God want you to be?

Make either some mental notes or physical ones and we will discuss tomorrow. Write down how these questions make you feel and what they mean to you!!

All my love,

Ash

 

 

Just a thought.

Happy day 14/15 my friends! Two weeks!! Crazy how fast this month is passing by and I am loving every single second of it!!! I pray that in all of our hearts, we are storing passion for the creativity we are finding, that it would follow us for much longer than just this month.

Just a though… but… what if we actually thought about how our actions affect the people around us?

There are almost no choices that we can make in life that only impact us.

This is one of the most simple yet impossible to comprehend realizations ever. Because it’s hard to imagine that. Harder to accept that I guess because if everyone actually cared about how their decisions affected those around them, I think there would a lot less hurt.

A lot less divorce.

A lot less violence.

A lot less suicide.

A lot less robbery.

A lot less selfish.

Choices, though they might seem small, have big effects simply because of how many people we are around. There is a lot of power in choices.

So as we continue in life, may we think before we act or speak. May we consider others’ feelings, just like we would want them to consider ours. Every decision has a cost.

So pray before you act or speak.

If God wouldn’t do it, you probably shouldn’t.

If you’re unsure, feel free to ask Him! He loves questions!!

No matter what you decide, there is a way to resolution so don’t feel like the decisions you’ve already made have doomed your life.

As we walk in life, may we think before we speak so that our actions would only be positively affecting the world around us. It’s time we do a lot less “me” thinking and a lot more “we” thinking.

All my love,

Ash

 

Learning To Love Change

Happy day 13 my friends!! I pray that this post finds your heart open and ready for your next adventure that is just on the horizon. Remember that we always regret the things we didn’t do, the places we didn’t see, the opportunities we didn’t take.

My friends, I think I have cracked the code.

It’s going to seem really obvious, but sometimes the lessons we need to learn are right in front of our face (God is REALLY good at placing things we need to see right in front of us, and we are REALLY good at missing them.)

I have discovered the secret to making life 1000000% easier!

To reducing stress by 100000000%!

Before sharing it with you, I first want to share the dilemma that has brought me to this answer. Because the journey to finding peace about this situation has been rather long and I have been looking for any sort of path to follow.

In about 1 1/2 months, me and my family will be moving out of our family home. We have no idea where we are going or where we are going to live, but our house is sold to an incredible couple that shined the love of Jesus like you wouldn’t believe.

They needed the house. They had been searching and searching, holding onto their faith the size of mustard seed that they were doing what they were supposed to and that God would provide. And He did.

But here I’ve been, selfish about this. Upset that I can’t have this house anymore. Frustrated that I will have to adjust my life once again.

My family has moved a lot growing up, at least it always seemed like we were moving. We moved pretty much every 2-3 years growing up, until we got to this house and it would’ve been 5 years in January. So I had planted my feet in the foundation of this home. Thinking it would be ours forever and that even when I move out of it one day and start my family, that we would come visit this house.

It seems perfect. I love EVERYTHING about it! The colors of the walls, the fireplace & wood stove, the super old windows that release heat in the winter like you wouldn’t believe, our cute little raised bed garden, all the natural light throughout the home, the bright yellow front door, just EVERYTHING.

And I wanted to keep it. I felt like I deserved to keep it.

But God has other plans.

I was angry and upset when I found out it had sold.

Honestly I felt even angrier when I realized how amazing this couple was, because I knew how selfish I was being about keeping it.

It is not God’s will for us to stay here.

But I don’t like change!

*BOOM*

Let’s talk about change…

change

verb \ˈchānj\

Simple Definition of change

• : to become different

• : to make (someone or something) different

• : to become something else

So, here I am, blogging about the beautiful change that creativity can and will bring. Pouring my heart about the change God is doing in my heart, but sitting here in self-pity about the physical change He is doing around me.

You know why change is scary?

Because we make it scary?
You know why people don’t like change?

Because it’s an opportunity to trust. To completely put it all on the line and believe that there is more out there.

You know why God loves change?
Because He knows what we are capable of,but He also knows how fragile we are, so He gives us change in small doses. Little path steps leading to this crazy beautiful possibility that we were made to fulfill. And yet, we trip over the first couple steps! We become content with the view that we can see from those first couple steps.

But we are robbing ourselves!! God has seen the view from that top step, and all He wants to do is share that with us!!

Yet, we manage to find reasons why not to go or why not to change, but why?
Why aren’t we finding the millions of reasons to go? To trust?

Look at all the “crazy” people that just trusted God. That saw His change in their lives as beautiful and worth doing. Noah? Paul? Moses? Jesus?

You know why we still talk about them?
Because they were willing to be changed by God, and it changed the world.

They were willing to change the entire path for humanity, by taking the new paths God would lay before them.

None of them did it to change the world, they did it simply because God asked. Because they knew what He was capable of if they would just let Him work in them.

Honestly, it’s hard for to write this… Because I realize some work I have to do in my life. I know that I can’t hold this grudge with change anymore. Because God has a reason for every single thing He does. A beautiful reason. And I’m not robbing myself anymore.

My time on this step is nearing it’s end.

My time of feeling bad for myself about this change is over.

My time to trust, and believe that this next step is even more beautiful than my last, starts now.

My time to prepare my heart for all the steps in life, that I might never hesitate to take the next step again, is everyday of my life.

It is hard, I understand that, I know change is scary, but honestly, I am more scared of not seeing everything. Of not reaching that top step, of letting fear keep me from doing amazing things. That it would stop me from changing the world.

Change is only scary because of Fear. Fear is only scary because it let it be.

It is time to learn to love change. God loves change and there must be a reason why, don’t you wanna know why?

I DO.

So, while I pack up physical boxes of my belongings, and throw out the things I don’t need anymore for my journey, I will be doing the same in my heart.

I will be praying daily for peace about it all because like I said, we have yet to find a physical home, but I am warm and at peace in God’s home and that is all I need.

God is crazy sometimes, but He is changing my world. Physically and spiritually. And I am done getting in His way.

Are you?

All my love,

Ash

Thank God

Happy day 12 my friends!! Just two days away from being two weeks into our creative journey and I am SO excited. I continue to pray that these posts bless your life in some sort of way and that each post finds you in your most active state of creativity yet!

Today’s post is a thank you post.

Short and sweet.

I just couldn’t help but notice how much God has blessed my life today and wanted to write it down in words so that on the days where I forget how blessed I am, I can refer back to this!

When I woke up this morning, I was disappointed to realize that I had only gotten 6 hours of sleep. I figured I was going to be exhausted throughout the day, but God had other plans.

When I went to breakfast with a long time friend who is soon going to be moving away for college, I figured I was going to be overwhelmed with sadness, but God had other plans.

When I got home from breakfast and looked around at all the contents of my closet I had pulled out the day before but had yet to finish, I figured it would take forever to finish. That it might even be impossible to finish. But God had other plans.

I stayed awake the entire day, got everything accomplished on my to-do list, and only had 1 cup of Coffee.

I had the most wonderful time at breakfast!! NO tears were shed, instead, we recounted beautiful memories together and imagined all the ones we will continue to make!

I finished the monster closet project and ended up donating a huge black trash bag filled to the max with clothing and shoes that someone out there needs more than I do.

All that is to say, that I am so glad that God has different plans for me.

I am so glad that God doesn’t let me give up and that He blesses me with energy or joy or determination to fulfill all the potential that every day holds!!

I am so thankful for the friendships God has filled my life with.

I am so thankful for my family.

I am so thankful for the roof over my head.

I am so thankful for the food that fills my tummy.

I am so thankful that I am not ill or injured.

I am so thankful that I lived through another day.

I am so thankful for music and the beautiful complexity that it is.

I am so thankful that God believes in me,

that He loves me and longs to be my friend.

So today, I embrace all the beauty God has placed in my life.

I rejoice in His graciousness, and write about here so that on the days in the future where I momentarily forget how gracious God is, I can look back at this and remember who my Creator is. Remember how He knows what He is doing and knows what’s best for me. Remember how much He loves me even in my most fragile and emotional states.

So thank you Jesus.

Thank you for dying on the cross and washing my sins away.

Thank you for loving me no matter what.

Thank you for making the earth such a beautiful place

For sunrises, sunsets, and rainbows.

For never giving up on me.

For being so patient with me.

Amen.

May these words of my mouth and this meditation of my heart be pleasing in your sight, LORD, my Rock and my Redeemer. Psalm 19:14

So my friends,

When’s the last time you just said “thank you”?

All my love,

Ash